Friday, December 13, 2019

Buttler Fall Trail Series

Date: December 8, 2019
Theme: Buttler Fall Trail Series
Hare: The Buttler Hit It
Bag Car: Wikipedophilia
Pack: Ass Cowboy, Clit Notes, Cummy Sticks, Dribbles, Dry Hose, Fellowship of the Cockring, Full Frontal Fireball, Holy Dumpster Fire, Just Emily, Just Katie, No Man on the Moon, Orgasm Famine, Po Po Peepshow, Pretty Fly for a Pi Guy, Quarter Mile Queer, Shits and Ladders, Testicular Mechanics, Tinderdick, Topless Barbie, Twat My Mom
Prelube: Friendly Toast
BC1: Lincoln Park
BC2: Parking lot behind Shaking Crab
BC3: St. Peter’s Field
Paddy’s Lunch
Trail: Pack congregated in the narrow sliver of space that is the bar at the Friendly Toast eagerly wondering whether trail would be a straight shot to Buttler’s house, or would snake its way along the Cambridge/Somerville line before ending at his abode. Like the Midnight Ride of Paul Revere, one if by Porter Square, two if by Union Square, and I in the basement of Buttler’s will be, drinking delicious Trilliums in circle. When the pack was off, it appeared that we would be taking the west of the two routes. Trail headed just north and east of Inman Square, beer checked at Lincoln Park, then took a sharp turn toward Harvard Square before deathmarching up Oxford St. Why was it a direct straight shot spanning nearly the distance from Harvard to Porter? Well our dear hare’s cell phone died, for which he’d drink for later.

The second beer check was in the parking lot behind the Shaking Crab. We lost the daylight shortly after departing for the third leg of trail, which was unfortunate because it crossed paths with Thursday night’s Moon trail. That resulted in a short stretch of trail where Quarter Mile went down one street calling on-on, while the Moon hare shouted after him that he was on the wrong trail. We continued north, still in the direction of Davis, but with the miles adding up, Buttler’s house seemed less and less likely. In fact, after a third beer check at St. Peter’s Field, there was little chance of making it to his place, so we went to the next likeliest spot—Paddy’s.

Circle: Quarter Mile led the circle, where Shits and No Man were recognized for their speed while Pi Guy was honored for his lack of swift feet. Backsliders were recognized, where Just Katie was cumming on Eileen with Dexy’s Midnight Runners, while Wiki was spooky or something. Sometime after we got to the on-in, Goat Throat joined us, and drank for his latecumming. Accusations continued with Cummy and Goat for wearing tight denim and denim-looking pants, Wiki for saying the h-word at the third beer check, and Ass Cowboy for auto-wanking the second leg of trail.

Buttler, Quarter Mile, and Testicular Mechanics all drank for the Moon trail overlaps. Ass Cowboy was back in circle to drink with Tinderdick for their racist attire, and Buttler drank again for the red line closure forcing all four of the south of the river hashers to take the shuttle. Po Po accused Buttler of not having any opportunities to give anyone a Peepshow, and Fellowship was accused of being a nerd and knowing how much money was lost to the beer wasted in unfinished cans. Those wearing Christmas attire and vests drank, as did the environmentalists. Dry Hose wanted to name someone, but that ended up with him doing a down-down on his own. Cummy took a wipeout on a patch of ice for which he had to drink. By this point, we were really grasping at straws for accusations, so we moved onto announcements, then to burgers and dogs prepared on the grill by our hare.

Announcements: As for announcements, Moon is looking for hares and the Hashmas party will be on January 11.

That’s all I’ve got for this hash trash. Enjoy your Anthraxing-Antibuffeting-Zig Zags this weekend.
Twat My Mom

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