Monty Python and the Lost on Trail

July 13, 2022 Trail
Monty Python and the Lost on Trail

Hares: Do Me Decimal, Wikipedophilia
Bag car: Triceratopped
Pack: Beeeestiality B4 Boys, Blue Balls Matter, Bottom Wrangler, Bum F*cking Vagabond, Clit Notes, Cookies for Nookie, Cummy Sticks, Cums Like Clockwork, DJ Gags Easy, Dr. Blow, Dribbles, Extra Terresticle, Far Blow, Glutenless Maximus, Holy Dumpster Fire, Just Bird, Just Jeff, Kneels for Ginger Jizz, No Man on the Moon, Orgasm Famine, Shits N Ladders, Sketchy Ho, Slothy Seconds, Spunk in the Trunk, Strap On Strap Off, Testicular Mechanics, The Buttler Hit It, Virgin Janine, Virgin Sharon, Wax Off, Whorevette, Zamboneme

Pre-lube: Democracy Brewing
Beer check 1: Gardens at Greenwich Park in the South End
Beer check 2: Symphony Community Park
On-in: Charlesgate East Park

One of the marathon events lost to the pandemic was supposed to be Monty Python themed, so this trail offered up a chance for hashers to finally don their costumes. We had the lumberjack, the Black Knight, some chain mail wearers, and coconut shell knockers. That was mostly it though because in reality it was too hot for costumes.

There were virgins, there were visitors, there were virgins brought by visitors. There were justs--one not real and one that was "totally definitely absolutely not a virgin." Trail was a two-beer check trail that sliced through the South End, through Berkeley, and toward the Back Bay.

Comments on trail included: too many horses, hot enough coconuts, too many tit checks, serious lack of penguins, not enough Spam, too much Spam, and not enough dark alleys. Hares sang the Mobile song and circle continued. We had two virgins: Virgin Janine (Whorevette) and Virgin Sharon (Strap On Strap Off). Sharon would help her uncle Jack off, Janine prefers groomed trails, neither are good at math, and one identified Mickey Mouse as her favorite cartoon character. They were not worthy, but we took them anyway.

Visitors included Bottom Wrangler, Glutenless, and Whorevette. During circle, we were also visited by the local neighborhood watch--Spank Me May I Have My Mother. There was also an I Eat T-bags appearance. Goat Throat was spotted on trail, but not seen at circle. Celebrating birthdays and analversaries were Wrangler, Do Me, Triceratopped, Wiki, and Spunk. Our FRB was Testicular, our FBI was Vagabond, and our DFL was Buttler.

Circle continued with accusations. I have "Beeees honor down down f*cking tourists," and I don't know if she was complaining about the f*cking tourists, or if she was f*cking the tourists. Whichever one it was though, she drank for it. Wrangler accused Strap On for assuming that we are all experts in strap ons. Apparently, there's a dildo called the Bad Dragon and only 1-2 hashers knew what that was.
Everyone who didn't eat Spam did a down-down (basically a social). There was some debate over whether the brown spots on the ground at the on-in were dirt turds or human feces. Beeees had an accusation about wanting to do more verses to the Mobile song. Then DJ was accused of thinking incest took place in Mobile when we all know it takes place in Texas.

Blue Balls was accused of injuring herself after last week's circle, and she was joined by Buttler and Testicular who had blood on trail. I have something here about Strap On not knowing the shape of the state of Georgia. Then anyone who complained a bunch got brought into circle to be Old McDonalded.
As for announcements, Hash Sitapede Cajun Redux Part 2 Electric Boogawho's lap am I sitting on trail on Wednesday, then on August 3 is the Pickles and Pikachu trail. And that is all.