Revere Beach: 80s Hawaiian Space Pirates on Drugs

June 22, 2022 Trail
Revere Beach: 80s Hawaiian Space Pirates on Drugs

Hares: Shits and Ladders, Testicular Mechanics
Bag car: Slothy Seconds
Pack: Beeeestiality B4 Boys, Blue Balls Matter, Dr. Blow, Dribbles, Edward Sissyhands, Extra Terresticle, Fellowship of the Cockring, Fischstick, Frosty the F*ckman, Full Frontal Fireball, Holy Dumpster Fire, Just Jan, Luva Lamp, Mudslut, Po-po Peepshow, Sex the Final Frontier, Strap On Strap Off, The Buttler Hit It, Topless Barbie

Pre-lube: Bill Ash's Lounge
Beer check 1: Suffolk Downs Parking Lot
Beer check 2: Behind a CVS on Saratoga St.
On-in: Constitution Beach

Still don't know the origins of this trail theme. Maybe it's a portmanteau of phrases on some Cards Against Humanity cards? Either way, people came prepared. Lots of leis, lots of hula skirts, lots of pirate eye patches, lots of Millennials, and lots of small flour bags made to look like drugs. We were warned about a harrowing eagle trail option that we should definitely not have done, except when I read the description in the announcement, my reaction was something along the lines of "well now I HAVE to do the eagle trail." It was somewhat memorable, and you can read about it in the circle write up below.

Comments on trail included nice eagle trail, no horses at the racetrack, dead raccoon, where are we?, how did I get here?, good trail, and shitty trail. The FRB (Sex), FBI (Beeees), and DFL (Buttler) drank. Then Shits and Slothy drank for having birthdays earlier in the week on the same day. It was dark, but I think they were also the tallest hasher/shortest hasher, and if Buoys were there, he'd have made them do a special down-down for that. Frosty drank for playing with balls, bats, and little children (sweat test failure) and Fischstick drank for backsliding (he was at the Bar--Bar Harbor that is).

As for accusations, Shits was accused of laying a trail from where his own virgin trail started. Frosty was accused of getting engaged. And Dr. Blow drank for lost shit on SNDT. Next was Shits for losing his phone in the shiggy. As for that eagle trail, four of us attempted it, and partway through going down the hill of thorns, we encountered our hare looking everywhere for his phone. Sex made a few attempts to call it and eventually spotted the screen light up. Phone safe, phew. Hare snared, yay! Pack wins the hash!

Strap On was accused of pointing, the RA was accused of astronomy failure (past the solstice--days are getting shorter), Sex was accused of going on the Suffolk Downs racetrack (or what's left of it), and Buttler and Sissyhands for coming late to trail. Mudslut drank for looking like Popeye, then Blue Balls drank for "tearing herself a new asshole" (she split her pants). There also was a story of Blue Balls confusing a muggle who was carrying groceries and trying to board a bus, which we summed up to "accused for scouting like a fiend."

Not much by way of announcements, just Luva and his Harbor Islands campout. That is all.
-ET