Boner Birthday Trail

June 29, 2022 Trail
Boner Birthday Trail

Hares: O'Boner, Quarter Mile Queer
Bag car: Fischstick
Pack: Beeeestiality B4 Boys, Blondie McF*cksalot, Bloody Nips Graveyard Chicks, Blue Balls Matter, Bum F*cking Vagabond, Chunderelli Chunderelli, Cookies for Nookie, Cums Like Clockwork, C*ntcussion, Dr. Blow, Dribbles, Edward Sissyhands, Extra Terresticle, Fellowship of the Cockring, Full Frontal Fireball, Goat Throat, Just Jan, Luva Lamp, Mudslut, No Man on the Moon, Orgasm Famine, Sex the Final Frontier, Shits and Ladders, Slothy Seconds, Snatchchat, Spank Me May I Have My Mother, Spunk in the Trunk, Strap On Strap Off, Swedish Eagle, Testicular Mechanics, The Buttler Hit It, Topless Barbie, Triceratopped, Virgin Kat, Virgin Kendra, Wikipedophilia

Pre-lube: Beantown Pub
Drink check: Public Garden at Charles and Beacon
Beer check: Cardinal Cushing Memorial Park
On-in: Paul Revere Park

Happy redacted birthday O'Boner! Or I think it was her birthday. The trail announcement said she regretted signing up for this on her actual birthday, does that mean the day she signed up for the trail it was her birthday, or she signed up to hare a trail that was scheduled for her birthday? Who knows, we're half minds. But at least there was cake.

Trail was short. Aside from Beeees getting yelled at by the cocks locks operator, there wasn't much to note. Prior to circle, several sprinklers turned on while we were standing around on the grass, so a few hashers got wet. And O'Boner made a cake that was shaped like a corgi. And there were some readings from a sex rubric written back in 2019 that apparently uses the word seamlessly a lot. Otherwise not much more to note, so onto the circle!

As for trail comments, I have bag car got lost, we have lube, we got wet, not enough corgis, never too many corgis, I can't hear you, you're too loud, and cake cake cake. The FRB (Spank Me), FBIs (Vagabond and Blue Balls), and DFLs (Buttler and Chunderelli) all drank. O'Boner and Goat drank for their birthdays. Our visitor, Bloody Nips from Richmond H3 drank; he "came because she was good." We also had two virgins: Virgin Kat (Snatchchat) and Virgin Kendra (Blue Balls). Kat would have her boss lay her and neither knew the square root of 69. They were not worthy, but we took them anyway.

As for accusations, Snatchchat got accused of leaving behind a lamp, three pairs of shoes, and something else at NURD. Then Spunk emptied a bag of Quarter Mile's stuff all over the ground (it was kinda like watching a spurned lover toss her ex's clothes out an apartment window), so he drank too. Blue Balls accused Fellowship of getting hit by a squirrel, which she reenacted. Then she was accused of something that Vagabond made her do, which was not reenacted. Snatchchat accused everyone who got wet on trail, then clarified that getting hit by the sprinklers did not count as being "on trail."

Continuing on, Slothy accused C*ntcussion of having "a perfect female form." Barbie and Blondie were accused of arriving late/sweat test failure/racist attire. Cookies and Slothy were accused of going swimming before trail. Beeees was accused of attempting to cross the locks while they were open, and getting yelled at over the speaker for it. Mudslut and Blue Balls were accused of running into each other or something like that--don't remember if it was reenacted. Fischstick for being bag car. Fireball for not following the rule of singing the Canal St. song when at a song check on Canal St. (When did the hash start having rules?) And that just about covers it.

There were many announcements. Pay Fireball $5 hash cash, Harbor Islands campout this weekend, Prelube trail on Saturday, Beantown trail on Monday at 7 p.m. from the Hyatt on Memorial Drive, fireworks watching Monday night, Indepanties next Wednesday (hared by Sweagle and maybe 2nd?), Burlington H3 Invihash July 17ish, Pink Taco trail happening, and a Sweagle Ball Buster in August where "you'll get really really really wet."

That's all I got. Enjoy your holiday weekends.

-ET