Thursday, July 22, 2021

July 21 Hash Trash

Swan Song Swan Drink
Hares: Tinder Dick, Full Frontal Fireball
Bag Car: Mourning Wood
Pack: Blue Balls Matter, Deflate Date, Edward Sissyhands, Extra Terresticle, Just Ethan, Just Harry, Just Joel, Just June, Just Matt, Just Namir, Just Shelly, Quarter Mile Queer, Roscoe Pee Cum Stain, Sex the Final Frontier, Strap On Strap Off, Testicular Mechanics, The Buttler Hit It, Virgin Ariel, Virgin Oscar, Wikipedophilia
Pre-lube: Hong Kong
Shot Check: Under the Suspension Bridge at Boston Public Garden
Beer Check 1: Under the Arthur Fiedler Footbridge
Beer Check 2: Chart House Parking Lot
On-in: End of Long Wharf
What a pre-lube tease. Do Me Decimal was on hand with their mother, Bama Bitch. Yankee Pay $5 More, who was very excited to demonstrate that he can almost comb over his hair, was on hand. And we also had Spunk in the Trunk join us. Unfortunately, the four did not do the trail, but it was still great to see them all. Being named Swan Song Swan Drink, some of us had a hunch trail would head toward the Swan Boats in the Public Garden, which it did. At the end of trail, someone brought the cooler to the parking lot behind the Chart House on Long Wharf where a few of us had a second beer check before quickly joining pack at the end of Long Wharf for the on-in. Not sure if it was actually supposed to be a beer check, but we treated it as such.
In circle, Sex and Blue Balls were FRB and FBI while Buttler and Deflate Date were co-DFLs. Sissyhands, Roscoe, and Just Joel drank for July birthdays, Just June transplanted from Beijing, and Roscoe visited from Burlington, Vt. Deflate Date, Just Shelly, Fireball, and Just Joel did their backsliding down-downs, then Wiki devirginized Virgin Ariel and Virgin Oscar. I did not catch any of their answers to the standard virgin questions, and they were not worthy, but we took them anyway.
Accusations started with Strap On Strap Off accusing Just Shelly, or "Just Nashua or Whatever" as he called her, for excessive y'alls on trail. This could have been a false accusation as New Hampshire is arguably culturally the southernmost state in New England, and the y'alls could have been acceptable, but the accusation stood and she drank for it. Testicular accused Quarter Mile of "pumping his legs" in the Commons, which meant that he tried really hard, and so he drank. Just Namir also came in for racist attire, making that two straight weeks for him, while all who participated in the Running Club with an Elevation Problem earlier in the day also drank. Fireball saved Tinder from getting snared, so she drank, then Quarter Mile drank for being surrounded by cops at the first beer check. The People Who Wake Up Super Early to Climb Stairs group drank again. Then Topless Barbie drank for sweat test failure. Blue Balls and I each drank for alcohol abuse, the hares were accused of cops at the on-in, and then all matching colors drank.
Announcements included karaoke at the Hong Kong, Beantown is looking for hares, Moon trail on the 30th with a RHPS or rather RHSM theme, Strap On Strap Off is haring next week's trail (with Luva I think), pay your hash cash, and Red Dress Run on August 7 with a registration deadline of July 30. It was the first of a few goodbye trails for Tinder Dick, so if you didn't have a chance to come to trail, you still have time to say bye to them. Be well and enjoy your weekends.