Thursday, August 5, 2021

August 4 Hash Trash

Hashing of the Bulls V? IX?
Hare: O'Boner
Bag Car: Snatchchat
Pack: Anal Disco, Chunderellie Chunderellie, Clit Notes, Cums Like Clockwork, C*ntcussion, Extra Terresticle, Full Frontal Fireball, Holy Dumpster Fire, Just Harry, Just Remy, No Man on the Moon, Sonic Bum, Testicular Mechanics, The Buttler Hit It, Wikipedophilia
Pre-lube: Charlie's Kitchen
Beer check: Corporal Burns Playground
Wine check: Dana Square Park
On-in: Fort Washington Park
Last night, O'Boner brought back a popular theme: Hashing of the Bulls. Like the Festival of San Fermin in Pamplona, most of the hashers dressed in white with red bandanas while a few hashers wore darker colors and played the part of the bulls, "goring" hashers as they passed them on the street. I wish I brought my BAGGO patches because there was lots of red wine flowing on trail. If a bull were to gore a member of the pack, not only were they marked with a neon colored sticker, but they were also treated to the baggo. Playing the part of the bulls were Chunderellie and Testicular, while C*ntcussion and Disco acted as walking bulls.
Comments on trail included not enough goring, too much goring, not enough rain, too much rain, not enough baggo, and too much baggo. Wiki was the FRB and Disco also drank, though I did not catch why. Buttler and the bulls drank for being DFLs, even though the bulls were actually the third and fourth hashers into the on-in. (Not going to try to figure that one out either.) All who celebrated a birthday between last night and the last trail they ran drank--a group that included Just Harry, Snatchchat, Sonic Bum, and Disco. Then the backsliders drank, namely Snatchchat, Sonic Bum, and Disco.
Buttler accused the RA of the weather (rain), then Wiki, Sonic Bum, and Clit Notes drank for same shirts--though Wiki's shirt had seen brighter days. Clockwork drank for alcohol abuse, which I think was because he almost decapitated people with the baggo. Fireball accused the walking bulls of being bulls but having no baggo on the first leg of trail. Then Clit Notes accused the running bulls of being outwitted by a Just (Remy). Apparently Just Remy told Clit Notes you don't have to outrun the bulls, you just have to outsmart them, then almost immediately was gored by Testicular.
Accusations continued with Snatchchat accusing Clockwork of having a flagpole between his legs (at least we weren't in a lightning storm). Then Chunderellie suggested sending Just Remy into circle for a naming. Suggestions included Begging For It and Desperation Dildo, but neither stuck, and in fact the whole naming was pretty lackluster with nobody in the pack asking him any questions, so he was thrown back. Quarter Mile Queer was accused of autohashing, he tried to convince us that he was there the whole time and he was just being quiet, but nobody bought it. C*ntcussion accused anyone who was gored by a walker--Holy Dumpster Fire, Wiki, and Clit Notes, then she had trouble closing her umbrella and she mixed up the numbers in a song, so she too had to drink. O'Boner accused anyone of not being gored, but everyone got gored at least once, so she drank for the false accusation.
Announcements included Fireball's Friday Moon pre-lube to the Red Dress Run starting at Magazine Beach, then QMQ said that while capacity for the RDR was reached, people could still donate to the charity. Barbie and I are haring a tutu trail on September 22, so order your tutus from Amazon now. Sign up for MisMan. Wiki's haring a trust me on June 18-19, 2022 (hey, isn't that around the time of Shortest Night Dumbest Trail?), and there will be another Cajun Hash Sitapede brought to us by Testicular at some point in the future. The bulls were spared a grizzly death at the hands of the matadors and everyone trickled home.