Friday, June 27, 2008

The Gap Hash

This is the long over due Hash Trash from The Gap 2008And this what you missed.....

Hare on Friday: I Eat Cum
Hare on Saturday: Counterfeit Dick, Sunday - Jimmy Crack Whore 
The Pack: There was none, it was all traveling freaks!!!
Visitors: Sea Coast's only life guard; Friar Fu*k, Hartford's southern bell; Virgin Italian Pisser, Cumbridge's only smat kid Krusty the Meat Miser; and last but not least from Boston's Charles Street Jail the notorious; Wang Chunks and his posy (Super Teflon Dong, Nambla, Taint My Problem, Stretch Pussy, Schindler's Fist, Cruifux, Hiscocksin, Spunk In The Trunk, The Clam Burlger (Just Ricki), Pubic Service Announcement, Shorn Scrotum, Floppy Dick, Dude Where's My Virginity?, Beat by a Girl, C*m is Kosher and My Chemical Homance 

The Trails...
Friday Night's Pub Crawl - Trail started from the camp sights as I Eat Cum scampered off. Trail was Long and Hard as it twisted and turned down the campground roads. The first Beer Check was in the parking lot of the campground as it was the only bar in town. After the first round of Miller lite, food was ordered and devoured like a pack of wild Indians. As the pack finished there last supper trail found its was back to the camp sites, as there were 3 Kegs of beer awaiting the mob. With a swift call of ON-ON trail left and aimed towards the brass balled Indian across the street. Awaiting the pack was test tub shots of ice cold After Shock. The only shock to be had was the hashers pillaging the Indian looking for there own lead weights. Before getting scalped trail led back to the camp site's once again before the kegs ran dry.

Saturday- The River "Trail"- "Hared" by Counterfeit Dick, "Trail" by Mother Nature. The weather was great, and the Fife Brook Damn gave us a perfect water release.

The pack of about 25 Hashers on tubes was away into the Deerfield river at 1230. After the first ten minutes Friar Fuck was already lost to the pack, we knew he would catch up, the river only flows downhill. After 40 minutes of leisurely tubing we arrived at the first beer check, at the railroad bridge near the Hoosic Tunnel. STD entertained the pack with his rope swing prowess as we enjoyed some PBR and Genny Cream Ale. Friar rejoined the pack just in time for a beer before we were on-on again.

About an hour later we made it down to the Gap, the wankers that walked around know who they are, but they don't really know what they missed. Those that rode it out can now proudly call themselves "Gap Douches". Most notable among the douches was Clam Burglar, not only did she get dumped from her tube but she offered a pair of sunglasses and a borrowed hat as sacrifice to the gap. The pack enjoyed another round of cheap beer then continued on-on, with out I Eat Cum, Wang Chunks, Hiscocksin, and I can't remember who else (they went back to camp by car).

We had a relaxing ride avoiding raft collisions for about another hour to the last beer check, then on-on to the camp site and hot food which Cum's Mom delivered, along with a birthday cake for her little birthday boy.

Over all we spent about 5 hours on the river, including beer checks.

Lost Shit - Stella (Counterfeit Dick's Mug) last known where abouts, driving down to TITS, Virgina; Hartford's Hash Shit (VIP) last known where abouts, I Eat Cum's Kitchen Sink.