Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Hot Tub Redneck Hash

The Pack: around 40-45 - I dunno... the 2nd cumming has attendance, ask him.
Prelube: Banshee / Dorchester JFK T-Stop
Chalk-Talk & RA: Tw*t My Mom

Hares: Boston Strangler and Accidentally An*l.

So this is basically what happened if you were too lazy / hungover to cum last Wednesday: So we had about 6 Virgins, but I got 3 names I wrote down - Jason, Duong (The Duong-er), James and Paul. OK, so that's 4.
The Virgins were brought into chalk-talk and we sang "Hey, My Name is Joe" for warm-up and off we went.

Trail was actually pretty well marked, and I would say with the penmanship of a writing teacher. That was probably the high point of your trail, Strangler. Good penmanship with the chalk. Actually this trail rocked out with its c*ck out, so if you missed this one that's your loss. Wankers. We went through, around, over and below various spots in Dorchester to wind up at our first beer-check, Malibu Beach - around 2 miles or so 'til the first BC. We drank cheap beer and it was good.

Trail then went another mile or more and the Boston Strangler took us to a nice little playground where little Buoys / errr... boys like to play. We know how your mind works there, Strangler, lucky for all the little buoys out there we were able to chase you down pretty quickly. There was more beer, and life was good. I believe we were at Downer's Avenue playground, or so my sketchy writing says...

The On-In was at Boston Strangler's House in Dorchester, close to Savin Hill. The REAL On-In was his hot-tub where after circle about a dozen naked hashers sat in the tub, staring at their toes with their hands neatly folded. Yeah, right. Anyway, I digress.

Comments on trail included: "Get 'er Done" and "My Mustache is gonna get gray" as well as "I wasn't supposed to be within 15 feet of a playground"

The Hares sang "Hog Calling Time in Nebraska" - which nobody in the entire hash seems to know more than 3 or 4 verses to so it was a short song.
The Virgins were demented, now they are Just Paul, Just Jason, Just James and Just DUONG (still think the Duonger is a good name) and maybe I heard Just Sharma.

FRB was Stick it to the Bros, FBI was Pubic Service Announcement, DFL was Plus Two Coonass and 2nd Cumming.  Backsliders claimed to be F*cked by Job and Whiskey D*ck... well, that's what I wrote.  Implant from the New Orleans Voo-Doo Hash are Like a Virgin.

Tallest and Shortest Drank: 2nd cumming and Goes Down on Buoys. They held hands, the pack sang, it was cute. Apparently there was Ice Cream on trail by the Savin Hill T-Stop near Strangler's place, I thought the chalk mark was mocking us. Peppermint P*ssy and possibly Miami Sl*t Machine partook. Possibly not. Willie Wonka may have partook of said cream. Vagitarian too.

Oh, DRIPPY SPIGOT was on trail! He had lots of iced cream. We miss you Drippy, you big backslider.

Best Redneck was easily Oink, Oink, OOoooohhhh. Drippy, Tw*t My Mom, JC Whore and An*l were runners' up.

Naming O' The Evening: Just Kyle. One of the many brothers, who's been hashing for about a year and a half. Kyle, what the f*ck haven't you been doing?  Just Kyle pissed on his father one evening while drunk... but apparently stories having to do with this great feat didn't get him his proper name. He was not named Princess Choad, but will now forever be known as "Family Business". Go figure.

We Swang Low, made announcements about NURD and Pittsburgh. Then we ate pretty damn good redneck food, and somehow about 1/4 of the pack got into the hottub nekkid. Too bad you weren't there.

Goes Down on Buoys

Just Kyle was named accidental golden shower. Family business was rejected. There you have it. Never let the truth get in the way of a good story. Too bad this story wasn't good.