Friday, May 13, 2016

Hash Trash is back! Anything but beer trail hash trash.

Trail: Anything But Beer!
When: Wednesday May 11th 2016
Hares: Marbles, Not Dead Yet, and at the last min Pulp Friction
Bag Truck: Wifeout
Pack: Udder Whore, 5 Inch Penalty, Fellowship, Po Po, Famine, Goat, Just Blain, Seattle visitor and other visitor, Wild Thing(transplant), Virgin Annie, Spank Me, Spermaid, Blondie, Bloody, Clit Notes, Anal Apologist, Virgin KP, Virgin Josh, Slutty Charms, Dribbles, Final Frontier, Luva Lamp (many more my drunk brain forgot)

For a trail called Anything but beer I decided it was important to get to prelube in time for a beer. As I sipped my delicious beverage I learned that in true hash style one of our hares was MIA! Now normally we would just wait around drinking and waiting for a late hare to show up but in a surprising show of rule following Marbles found himself a last minute co-hare (Thank you Pulp Friction) so he could leave right at 6:45 as the new GM approved HST instructions mandate. (Well done Marbles) I suspect Marbles feels he was grievously punished for following the Hares gay at 6:45 suggestion because pack did not leave prelube till 7:10 and then chalk talk… but perhaps our RA’s will push us along faster next time. Hashers are slow learners. Anyway, Bloody led us in a rousing chalk talk where we learned about shameful things pack did in college. Among the answers Get Married, Sex in libraries, and not drink enough! We showed the virgins the ways of chalk and ran off.

Trail led us across the E line, past the MFA, and into the park, we sang, flashed each other, scampered, and indulged in rather racist speeds. There was a CB4 which at least half of pack was tricked into arriving at. Then we ran across the street towards Longwood and found not a BN (because no beer) but an AN (cider, twisted tea and Mike’s Hard for all!) As we carefully sipped our sugary beverages the geese eyed us with displeasure but we ignored them. I will say that the black cherry Mike’s Hard lemonade is surprisingly drinkable. However, when the racists started getting antsy and ran off not all the beverages had been consumed! I grabbed the Angry Orchard box with the leftover booze and brought it along.  (no booze can be abandoned no matter how shitty!)

There was a false up the hill towards Beacon St. from Longwood but then trail was found going down Longwood Ave deeper into Brookline. We found a school to perform a hash sitapeed in its playground and got through all of Dino in the Kitchen in formation. I gave the last remaining roady beverage to Blondie who promptly drew an SC with her pack chalk and we impromptu shot check drank it. We ran through Brookline as if the cops were after us (they probably were) and found a deliciously tequila-y margarita shot in a remarkably clean ally. Someone found a lamp post for luvalamp to grind up on. Then we got a tad lost which clearly meant we felt trail as too short.  But eventually we did find a WINE NEAR by another brookline Park kinda near Washington Square. Our wine check was joyously provisioned with 2 Franzia (I think) baggo’s which we partook from with great abandon. At some point the hares ran off and at another point we followed. We crossed Beacon street and much of pack realized that the only thing which stood between us and the likely ON-IN was all of Summit Ave Hill. I believe a small group of racists took the direct route up the Hill while the rest of us went in search of the marks that led us to the back stairway path up. Why go in the front when you can go in the back! We spied a few hares who bounded away up the stairs so we sang a quick Friggen in the Riggen to give them time to pant away. Somewhere around 150 stairs later we made it to the top, found ON-IN marks, and declared we would never run up another stair. (till next time)

We played on the playground while bags and food were unloaded and then ate yummy burgers before circling up. Circle was a bit exposed and we know Brookline hates us so we kept it to a dull roar. (Seriously well done) All three of our hares drank, sang and were serenaded for their sins. Comments on trail were focused around the sugary nature of the beverages and the stairs of death. Our virgins three were called in and Po Po led a merry de-virginazation. They seemed like an excellent crew. Our Seattle visitor serenaded us and our other visitor informed us he would bring Hash-sitapeeds back to his people. Goat was FRB, Famine was FBI, and Po Po was DFL. Not Dead Yet may have drunk for being late to trail as a hare. Pulp Friction may have drunk for Volunteering to help out. Udder our beautiful GM thanked us for being quiet and avoiding the attention of the cops and we swung low.

ON-The Return of Hash Trash-ON
-Orgasm Famine

From your GM: If you love the hash and want to help keep things running consider joining Misman for next year! We drink picklebacks, make decisions, and eat food. Many positions available, talk to Udder or Wiki.

NEXT WEDNESDAY! Bachlorette Party Trail hared by Popo and Pussy Passport. 6:30HST Lucky’s Lounge.