Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Founder's Day Hash Trash

When: Monday February 1, 2016 6:45pm HST
Where: The Publick House, 1648 Beacon St, Brookline, MA 02445
Hare: Wiki
Bag-Car: Spunk

Pack: Five Inch, Douche, Dribbles, Grease My Monkey's Nuts, Friar, Blondie-Mc-Autohasher, and yours truly The Captain, plus Glutenless-LateC*mer and a few others who crashed the On-In

Holy shit we made it to 40 years. You'd think we'd all be passed out from the other events of the weekend, but a small intrepid group of idiots still managed to stumble their way to Brookline for the ACTUAL An*lversary of the Boston Hash House Harriers.

There was a bleak outlook as I arrived at the Publick House to find only a small handful of Hashers. Would we even have a pack to run? Eventually Five Inch showed up and it was deemed we did in fact pass Rhode Island Rules and would have a pack of at least 3. By the time our Hare left, surprisingly on time (if not early!), we had collected a pack of 6 runners.

The hare conveniently forgot to leave any chalk for the pack, but we managed to dig up two pieces which were claimed by Five Inch and myself, just on the off chance we lost Friar or any stragglers decided to follow after us (spoiler: one did!). Spunk lead a brief circle, sans chalk talk since there were no virgins and Wiki assured us "standard marks" would be used. The pack immediately set off in the wrong direction, but quickly noticed the lack of marks and turned around. Five Inch and Douche took the lead with Friar bringing up the rear. We made our way into residential Brookline and miraculously didn't get lost. It was apparent, however, that our hare had (of course), but instead of the dreaded "WL" we saw "CB 4 or 5" followed by an erroneous "CB 1" and "actually CB 1" before our hare seemingly finally figured out where he was going. And where he was going was up. And up. And up. Staircase after staircase we climbed. And then more staircases. We eventually started seeing words of encouragement in faded chalk on the ground (apparently not from Wiki--he was running out of chalk) and soon stumbled into a park on top of the hill where Wiki, Spunk, and Blondie awaited us with beer and snacks.

Eventually Wiki lumbered off. He claims he inadvertently made a bunch of noise leaving the park, but we were too preoccupied with our beer to notice. After several minutes we helped the bag car crew pack up, and the pack began searching for the next mark. The park itself was sloped along the side of the hill, and as we reached the road at the bottom of the park we found a patch of soft, dark, damp dirt. Douche promptly hash crashed, slipping in the dirt, and proclaimed something to the effect of “my pants are brown!” much to the amusement of everyone else. We soon exited the residential area and found ourself running along and across the Green Line. With the exception of a somewhat dangerous crossing over a busy street, the rest of trail was fairly straightforward and ultimately lead us to our ON-IN: the old favorite, Silhouette.

Spunk took care of procuring beers while Blondie picked up burritos from next door. Given the small pack, personal orders had been taken ahead of time, but the burrito place managed to screw them up a bit. All the same, we were fed and beered, and all was good. Buoys and Marbles had shown up to join the ON-IN, and soon Glutenless appeared as well—it seems our pack marks went to good use after all! We also discovered Cum Chowda playing pool, as seems to be becoming a regular occurrence for ON-INs at Silhouette. Once most of the eating was done, Wiki cried out “And the hare!” and began serenading himself until we formed a circle. He bumbled his way, acting simultaneously as RA and Hare, until it was time for accusations. FRB was Douche; DFL was Friar. There were auto-hashers, and latecomers, Douche with his brown shorts, and the ultra-backslider Cum Chowda was even dragged in for a down down as well. We tried to sing “The Story of the Boston Hashers,” and managed a few verses before it fell apart. With that, it was time for announcements and then Hash Religion.

All in all, a fine observance of Founder's Day.

On—Here's to another 40!—On