Sunday, November 22, 2009
Sunday, November 8, 2009
The Return of GAP
HARES: General Ass Pounder, Goat Throat
BAG CAR: Cums Alone
WEATHER: sunny, warm, a great day for a hash
BAG CAR: Cums Alone
WEATHER: sunny, warm, a great day for a hash
A: Mt. Vernon Pub, Somerville near Sullivan Sq.
B: The Hong Kong in Quincy Market, Boston
Turkey Beer Check: on the water taxi across Boston Harbor
FRB Shot Check: at the wrong park Paul Revere Park near the wrong Marriott in Charlestown (was supposed to be in Boston. Christopher Columbus Park and Rose Garden, a bag car oops)
Visitor: Pig F*cker from Half Mein (he had to leave before the circle started)
Virgins: none
Late Cummers: Wang Chunks, An Inconvenient Poop, Welcum Wagon
B: The Hong Kong in Quincy Market, Boston
Turkey Beer Check: on the water taxi across Boston Harbor
FRB Shot Check: at the wrong park Paul Revere Park near the wrong Marriott in Charlestown (was supposed to be in Boston. Christopher Columbus Park and Rose Garden, a bag car oops)
Visitor: Pig F*cker from Half Mein (he had to leave before the circle started)
Virgins: none
Late Cummers: Wang Chunks, An Inconvenient Poop, Welcum Wagon
Hashers Present:
Bend Over Mommy, Brigham Tongue, Bzzzzzzzzzz (or something like that), The Buttler Hit It, Catheter the Great, Cocktologist, Dirty Latte Sanchez, Dribbles, Dude Where's My Virginity, Fire in the Hole, 5" Penalty, Floppy Dick, F*cksall, Gay Pride, High An*s, Immaculate Erection, Jamaican Me Cum, Just Ben, Just Jennie, Just Melvin, Just Mike, Just Ted, Krusty the Meatmeister, Necrophiliac Jack, NAMBLA (left before circle or got lost somewhere), Nipples Erectus, Pat My Fly,Peppermint Pussy, Petting Officer Stuffing *ss, Queerleader, Sextracredit, Shawshank, Spunk in the Trunk, Stick it to the Bros, Taj My Hole, The Second Cumming, Time of the Munch, Willie Wonker & the Back Door Factory, You Want to Blow
The Start, the trail:
Hashers gathered at the Mt. Vernon Pub, vastly outnumbering the somewhat nonplussed regulars. Eventually, the hares took off to set live trail. The pack finished their beers and circled outside. Trail took off through the wilds of E Somerville and Charlestown. Eventually trail led the pack to a turkey-eagle split. The turkeys went to the Charlestown Navy Yard, where they boarded the commuter ferry across Boston Harbor. As Bag Car driver I had to drop off the beer for the turkeys with Goat Throat and then get to the Eagle vodka check. GAP said he'd be at the park near the Marriott, and I saw him run past the Marriot in Charlestown, and had a blonde moment, and assumed the check was at the wrong park. Shortly thereafter the eagles arrived at Paul Revere Park and they had their vodka check there. We thought we were probably in the wrong place, but the eagles, bless em, figured it didn't matter too much where they had their check. They then crossed through the locks at the end of the Charles River for a scenic meandering through the North End and other environs of downtown Boston. Several got lost, somehow following traces of earlier hash runs, but some did make it to the park, where they rejoined the turkeys for the remainder of the trail. Rumor has it trail may have gone over Beacon Hill prior to arrival at the hash favorite venue, the Hong Kong.
The On-In:
Those who arrived at the on-in early, pre-lubed with scorpion bowls, or good beer. And they waited for the pack to arrive. There were civilians at the Hong Kong, but most left in haste once the pack arrived.
The Second Cumming was RA (I think, I was in the back row). Comments on the run included: Not enough boat rides, not enough swimming, best trail I've run in a long time (a late cummer), not enough cops, no tit check, too many old marks, too many pack marks, more stairs, way too many marks for a GAP trail, no marks but I got here anyway, not enough old people ready to die, not enough impromptu beer checks. GAP was welcomed back to Boston (only visiting, he's doing well in med school in Baltimore) and given his well-deserved down down.
- Visitors: Since Pig F-er had to leave, Spunk did a proxy down down for him.
- Backsliders: Sextracredit, GAP, Goat Throat, and Second Cumming got down downs.
- Sweat Test Failures Wang Chunks, Gay Pride, Necrophiliac Jack and Welcom Wagon got down downs.
- Infractions: Accusations went on for about an hour for every conceivable infraction. Private Parties, late cummers, missing the boat down down, same shirts, etc. etc. All hares got to drink a number of times, as did all RAs and former RAs and GMs and former GMs . and on and on.
- Naming: Just Jenny was due for a name. There was discussion of her stepping in dog poop, something about a marathon with sailors, and then how she threw up into two pint glasses. This inspired the following possible names: Cud Slut, Pampered Pussy, Likes Long Time, Two Sailors in a Cup, Long Dong, Two Pints of Puke, and finally the winner . One Girl, Two Cups. Thus she shall be known in the Hash.
We finally did hash religion, and adjourned to eat home made tacos provided by GAP and Peppermint Pussy. And it was good in Hashland.
--Cums Alone, Scribe & Bag Car Driver
--Cums Alone, Scribe & Bag Car Driver
Monday, November 2, 2009
Beaver Moon Hash
Hares: Invisidick, Just Ellen, I Licked Butts
RA: Glitoris (Hare Club)
Pre-lube: Newtowne Grille in Porter Square
Weather: Clear and not too cold (until circle, that is)
RA: Glitoris (Hare Club)
Pre-lube: Newtowne Grille in Porter Square
Weather: Clear and not too cold (until circle, that is)
Pack
Hey, I know that some of y'all have moon names that I don't know. So if you do, send me an email and I'll make sure to use it going forward. I forgot half the pack but this is what I remember: Hare Club, Goat Throat, Bend Over Mommy, Saskapoon, Bloody P*ssy, Peppermint P*ssy, Wang Chunks (he may have been a latecummer; I'm not sure. Don't recall seeing him run, but then I am not sure I have ever seen Wang run!), Cocksmith, Willy Wonka and the Backdoor Factory, Maid of Honor, Shawskank, BBAG, Fire in the Hole, Stick It To the Bros, Nice T*ts, I Eat Teabags, Just Heather, Just Becky, Virgin Maura
From the Farmer's Almanac
"Many moons ago when hunting was vital to preparation for the winter season, Native Americans would set traps for beavers. Beavers provided warm furs to help make the cold temperatures more bearable. November was a good month for hunting beaver since the swamps were not yet frozen. So as tradition had it, November's full moon became known as the Full Beaver Moon." Hahahaha, "beavers provided warm furs." Moving on.
Trail
So I wasn't aware until this hash that MIT's mascot is the beaver. I would laugh, but Babson also has a beaver as a mascot. The best (or so I have heard) is when the diving team is announced: "the beaver divers." Not kidding. Not quite as much fun as a USC/SC Trojans vs. C*cks game but at least it's on theme. Not on theme but I am obligated to say here that nothing, and I mean nothing, is as stupid as the Stanford Tree. Moving on.
The hares were wearing cardboard beaver tails, which Just Ellen had apparently made at work. A pretty good-sized pack formed for a Monday night. The 2nd Cumming explained marks to our virgin. This was all old hat except for the pineapple check (it was supposed to be a beaver tail).
In a scene reminiscent of the previous day's hash, the pack spent about 5 minutes going every way except for the right way before finally finding trail. Trail wound through the neighborhoods before ending up in an abandoned lot on Summer Street near Davis Square, apparently owned by the T. Just Heather managed to have a hash crash at the beer check, much to everyone's amusement. After the hares had left a cop showed up. I wasn't sure whether he was more annoyed or amused, and he made us pick up trash that wasn't even ours (which someone, I wish I could remember who, actually told the guy!).
The next leg of the trail went past a shop called Kick*ss Cupcakes. This conjures up all sorts of bad, bad images. Somewhere along this leg, The 2nd Cumming found a picture of some lions sitting out with the trash. And what else to do with a picture of lions than pick it up and carry it along? Not long after that, trail craniumed up. And up. And up some more. And around a corner and up some more. Seriously, Somerville must be like the Rome of the greater Boston area or something. Luckily, someone had left a rolling chair out with the trash, which Tea Bags put to good use. Perhaps when realizing that gravity would take him back down the hill, he abandoned the chair.
The second beer check was at Bailey Park, right next to the Somerville Hospital Nursing School. At this point, The 2nd Cumming began drawing the anatomically incorrect body parts [for lions] on his lion picture. Well, really, what else do you do with a picture found on trail?
The final leg was relatively straight and downhill, and the pack had no problems finding trail, at least for a while. While the males of the pack were waiting at the beaver check in front of Butts, Ellen, and Maura's boss's house, the hares were unloading the bag car in plain sight, about half a block down the hill. Now, had the pack been aware of their surroundings and scouting for trail, rather than beaver, they would have noticed that the trail went behind the abandoned house on Central Street and through a big hole in the fence into the vacant lot, rather than around the corner, behind Wings Over Somerville, and over an 8-foot fence with a nasty picker bush on the other side. But hey it's not a moon hash if you don't have to climb something, so much of the pack climbed the fence with gusto.
Circle took place in half a building, and unfortunately I don't remember too much about it because I was too busy picking the aforementioned pickers out of my pants. Well, it beats some other things that could have gotten onto my pants.
Virgin Maura was demented to great acclaim when asked her favorite sexual position she actually asked "Do you know what a dirty sanchez is?" Seriously, Virgin Maura, you clearly don't know the hash very well! Yet. The pack attempted to name Just Ellen but couldn't think of anything so she was tossed back.
The on-after was at Razzy's, where the pack broke into a spontaneous second circle in the back room, singing "The S&M Man" and "I Used to Work in Chicago" until we were notified by management that open mike comedy night was starting and our comedy wasn't on the schedule. The funniest "comedian" was the one who started making fun of the audience, in particular Just Becky. The "comedians" were NOT happy about the presence of a drunk, sarcastic, foul-mouthed mob at the bar, mocking (loudly) every word that came out of their mouths. However, one did come up to us after his bit and said that he wanted to join the hash, probably because we will be a never-ending source of material I'd wager.
- Bloody P*ssy
Hey, I know that some of y'all have moon names that I don't know. So if you do, send me an email and I'll make sure to use it going forward. I forgot half the pack but this is what I remember: Hare Club, Goat Throat, Bend Over Mommy, Saskapoon, Bloody P*ssy, Peppermint P*ssy, Wang Chunks (he may have been a latecummer; I'm not sure. Don't recall seeing him run, but then I am not sure I have ever seen Wang run!), Cocksmith, Willy Wonka and the Backdoor Factory, Maid of Honor, Shawskank, BBAG, Fire in the Hole, Stick It To the Bros, Nice T*ts, I Eat Teabags, Just Heather, Just Becky, Virgin Maura
From the Farmer's Almanac
"Many moons ago when hunting was vital to preparation for the winter season, Native Americans would set traps for beavers. Beavers provided warm furs to help make the cold temperatures more bearable. November was a good month for hunting beaver since the swamps were not yet frozen. So as tradition had it, November's full moon became known as the Full Beaver Moon." Hahahaha, "beavers provided warm furs." Moving on.
Trail
So I wasn't aware until this hash that MIT's mascot is the beaver. I would laugh, but Babson also has a beaver as a mascot. The best (or so I have heard) is when the diving team is announced: "the beaver divers." Not kidding. Not quite as much fun as a USC/SC Trojans vs. C*cks game but at least it's on theme. Not on theme but I am obligated to say here that nothing, and I mean nothing, is as stupid as the Stanford Tree. Moving on.
The hares were wearing cardboard beaver tails, which Just Ellen had apparently made at work. A pretty good-sized pack formed for a Monday night. The 2nd Cumming explained marks to our virgin. This was all old hat except for the pineapple check (it was supposed to be a beaver tail).
In a scene reminiscent of the previous day's hash, the pack spent about 5 minutes going every way except for the right way before finally finding trail. Trail wound through the neighborhoods before ending up in an abandoned lot on Summer Street near Davis Square, apparently owned by the T. Just Heather managed to have a hash crash at the beer check, much to everyone's amusement. After the hares had left a cop showed up. I wasn't sure whether he was more annoyed or amused, and he made us pick up trash that wasn't even ours (which someone, I wish I could remember who, actually told the guy!).
The next leg of the trail went past a shop called Kick*ss Cupcakes. This conjures up all sorts of bad, bad images. Somewhere along this leg, The 2nd Cumming found a picture of some lions sitting out with the trash. And what else to do with a picture of lions than pick it up and carry it along? Not long after that, trail craniumed up. And up. And up some more. And around a corner and up some more. Seriously, Somerville must be like the Rome of the greater Boston area or something. Luckily, someone had left a rolling chair out with the trash, which Tea Bags put to good use. Perhaps when realizing that gravity would take him back down the hill, he abandoned the chair.
The second beer check was at Bailey Park, right next to the Somerville Hospital Nursing School. At this point, The 2nd Cumming began drawing the anatomically incorrect body parts [for lions] on his lion picture. Well, really, what else do you do with a picture found on trail?
The final leg was relatively straight and downhill, and the pack had no problems finding trail, at least for a while. While the males of the pack were waiting at the beaver check in front of Butts, Ellen, and Maura's boss's house, the hares were unloading the bag car in plain sight, about half a block down the hill. Now, had the pack been aware of their surroundings and scouting for trail, rather than beaver, they would have noticed that the trail went behind the abandoned house on Central Street and through a big hole in the fence into the vacant lot, rather than around the corner, behind Wings Over Somerville, and over an 8-foot fence with a nasty picker bush on the other side. But hey it's not a moon hash if you don't have to climb something, so much of the pack climbed the fence with gusto.
Circle took place in half a building, and unfortunately I don't remember too much about it because I was too busy picking the aforementioned pickers out of my pants. Well, it beats some other things that could have gotten onto my pants.
Virgin Maura was demented to great acclaim when asked her favorite sexual position she actually asked "Do you know what a dirty sanchez is?" Seriously, Virgin Maura, you clearly don't know the hash very well! Yet. The pack attempted to name Just Ellen but couldn't think of anything so she was tossed back.
The on-after was at Razzy's, where the pack broke into a spontaneous second circle in the back room, singing "The S&M Man" and "I Used to Work in Chicago" until we were notified by management that open mike comedy night was starting and our comedy wasn't on the schedule. The funniest "comedian" was the one who started making fun of the audience, in particular Just Becky. The "comedians" were NOT happy about the presence of a drunk, sarcastic, foul-mouthed mob at the bar, mocking (loudly) every word that came out of their mouths. However, one did come up to us after his bit and said that he wanted to join the hash, probably because we will be a never-ending source of material I'd wager.
- Bloody P*ssy
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Halloweenie Hash
As I did not see any Scribes present by the 2nd beer check, I thought it proper that someone enlighten those of you who missed this event as to what may have happened on trail today. I did not have the foresight to find someone with either a pen or a photographic memory so you will have to settle for what I remember of trail.
It all started at BHP with 2 bright-eyed hares: Necrophiliac Jack & Just Ted who had grand ideas of what trail could be so we sent them off with their hopes, their dreams and their eagle scout uniforms that apparent still fit after 10 years... This is what they gave us:
A start that was eerily reminiscent of STD's first trail set with Bros as we were yet again cluster fucked near Mass General Hospital. Is trail going over the Longfellow? Along Storrow? Towards North Station? Into MGH (Just Ted's Scrubs seem to indicate that this last option was possible). No! We headed down Charles St. towards Beacon and unlike the aforementioned trail... there were marks! Already this trail was looking good.
They properly falsed us over the walking bridge to the Esplanade, where Buoys and a few others decided to wait at the end of the other side until most of us had made our way over before calling it false... wankers! Once we were turned around and making our way deeper into Boston, an alley way with a pleasantly surprising BN came into few and we drank warm Miller High Life before I had even heard anyone b*tch about needing a beverage... thank you hares.
Earlier during chalk talk the 2nd Cumming had ripped up pieces of orange paper and had thrown them on the ground illustrating what we may see later on trail. A collective groan escaped from the pack as these crumbled bits easily blew away in the wind. Krusty and Kosher were among those grumbling that perhaps they could have also used pavement colored chalk... another hash favorite for laying super secret trails. These pieces of paper, however, were actually quite visible in both Macy's and Downtown Crossing were the regular patrons looked in awe as The Butler Hit It and PPBBVVvvvzzz power walked through the perfume section. Awesome!
While they did not lay any invisible marks to get the pack turned around, they did manage to get lost on their own trail and were snagged by myself @ 4:21 pm and then again by Krusty, Crucifux & IEC who missed the 2nd beer check and had to ask the hares for directions as not to miss a second opportunity @ piss warm High Life. The 2nd beer check was right in the middle of Liberty Square. We all finished our warm beers and headed in the direction Krusty indicated eventually making our way to on-in @ the Hong Kong.
Circle was relatively short and aptly led by The 2nd Cumming. The Hares sangthe S&M man and were ridiculed for getting caught and bitched at for warm beer: apparently the hash drunk has standards... who knew?
There were 4 virgins demented by BBAG and Jamaican and I apologize for either making up or forgetting your names:
Hmmm, what else about circle. Oh, the hares had small nips of alcohol to award best costumes. I believe there were 5 categories:
That rounded up our night, and Swing Low made it official.
Buoys then serenaded us with Puff the Magic Tampon earning himself a free pint at the bar and the rest of us a desire to get those 5 minutes back in addition to the daylight savings hour we got earlier today.
That is pretty much it. I hope to see you all next week, as I believe we have some hashers that need to be named: Just Ellen, Just Ted, Just Sager and Just Sara to name a few... Get to know these new hashers as we need good dirt to name them properly.
Un-officially Scribing, Tits
It all started at BHP with 2 bright-eyed hares: Necrophiliac Jack & Just Ted who had grand ideas of what trail could be so we sent them off with their hopes, their dreams and their eagle scout uniforms that apparent still fit after 10 years... This is what they gave us:
A start that was eerily reminiscent of STD's first trail set with Bros as we were yet again cluster fucked near Mass General Hospital. Is trail going over the Longfellow? Along Storrow? Towards North Station? Into MGH (Just Ted's Scrubs seem to indicate that this last option was possible). No! We headed down Charles St. towards Beacon and unlike the aforementioned trail... there were marks! Already this trail was looking good.
They properly falsed us over the walking bridge to the Esplanade, where Buoys and a few others decided to wait at the end of the other side until most of us had made our way over before calling it false... wankers! Once we were turned around and making our way deeper into Boston, an alley way with a pleasantly surprising BN came into few and we drank warm Miller High Life before I had even heard anyone b*tch about needing a beverage... thank you hares.
Earlier during chalk talk the 2nd Cumming had ripped up pieces of orange paper and had thrown them on the ground illustrating what we may see later on trail. A collective groan escaped from the pack as these crumbled bits easily blew away in the wind. Krusty and Kosher were among those grumbling that perhaps they could have also used pavement colored chalk... another hash favorite for laying super secret trails. These pieces of paper, however, were actually quite visible in both Macy's and Downtown Crossing were the regular patrons looked in awe as The Butler Hit It and PPBBVVvvvzzz power walked through the perfume section. Awesome!
While they did not lay any invisible marks to get the pack turned around, they did manage to get lost on their own trail and were snagged by myself @ 4:21 pm and then again by Krusty, Crucifux & IEC who missed the 2nd beer check and had to ask the hares for directions as not to miss a second opportunity @ piss warm High Life. The 2nd beer check was right in the middle of Liberty Square. We all finished our warm beers and headed in the direction Krusty indicated eventually making our way to on-in @ the Hong Kong.
Circle was relatively short and aptly led by The 2nd Cumming. The Hares sangthe S&M man and were ridiculed for getting caught and bitched at for warm beer: apparently the hash drunk has standards... who knew?
There were 4 virgins demented by BBAG and Jamaican and I apologize for either making up or forgetting your names:
- Virgin Gary - Kosher's cousin
- Virgin Carrie - Just Sager appears to have brought her
- Virgin Ben - picked up on the T by Peppermint Pussy and Kosher
- Virgin ---- - Forgot your name, but I remember Just Jessica brought you and you live in Somerville
Hmmm, what else about circle. Oh, the hares had small nips of alcohol to award best costumes. I believe there were 5 categories:
- Most original: Went to PSA for Beerbarella (did she drink all those High Lifes? Did she coordinate with the hares to have her costume match the beverage of choice at the beer check? Did she give her Miller points to 2nd Cumming? all great questions that I do not have answers to)
- Best female: Dude for her dead Dalmatian shawl and great Cruella impression
- Best male: Spank Me as a geek who will never get laid (yes, he actually wore a costume)
- Sluttiest: cannot remember who won although Jamaican was nominated for her gold tight pants and mesh shirt, and Munch who came late as a French maid complete with a green feather duster
- Worst costume: Buoys for dressing like Immaculate. When dressing like another hasher, you need to choose someone who wears pretty much the same thing to every hash and can be loud and obnoxious enough to draw attention to themselves... hats off to Butts for choosing to dress as BBAG our hash drunk.
That rounded up our night, and Swing Low made it official.
Buoys then serenaded us with Puff the Magic Tampon earning himself a free pint at the bar and the rest of us a desire to get those 5 minutes back in addition to the daylight savings hour we got earlier today.
That is pretty much it. I hope to see you all next week, as I believe we have some hashers that need to be named: Just Ellen, Just Ted, Just Sager and Just Sara to name a few... Get to know these new hashers as we need good dirt to name them properly.
Un-officially Scribing, Tits
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
