Scribes Note: I don't have a taco, so I'm not sure if there is a taco-specific scribe who sends out taco-friendly versions to the taco runs list.
Also, f*ck rules, this is the hash.
What: Sadie Hawkins Hash
Who: Mangia My Vaginia, Harlot Globe Foundler, Certified Poop Accuntant.
Where: Hong Kong, Hardvard Square
Pack:
Really? You expect me to remember, here goes (and most of these are lies)
No Man on the Moon, Oink Oink Ohhh, Bloody Slip Inside, Easy As 1,2,3, Just Pat (not from Rhode Island), THE 2nd Cumming, Maple Queef, Hot Tub Crime Machine, Udder Whore, Anal Disco, Cuntjungle, I-know-his-name-isn’t-
Start:
Was at HK, but I was off doing super-secret-planning so +2 and I showed up as Bag Car was being called. Even though I wasn’t there; here’s what happened. Scripion. Bowl. Races. There were a few heats, and 2nd came away was the champion, with Goes Down On Bouys Unable to finish and Bloody Slip Inside and Easy and 1,2,3 tied for 2nd. Everyone was very drunk and eventually we left to learn about trail, or something.
Chalk Talk:
Happened. Were there virgins. Maybe? Will they come back? Probably. No tit checks.
Trail Left Tit:
Apparently circle was at the end of a false so most of pack went somewhere, and I scouted a-cranium finding true trail through Harvard square and eventually pack caught up with me at a song check inside the courtyard of a very nice looking hotel. We thought that the guests, and restaurant goers, who had gathered at the windows to stare at a crowd of cow-people, could use a reminder of how the calendar worked, so we sang a nice little diddy about the days of the week and the various activities engaged thereon. As we were getting go the only PG-13 day – the day of rest – Nichelodean was called so we just left and followed trail to a joke (or junk) check. I told a horrible joke, and scouted off in the wrong direction. Trail actually turned right from the check and ran along memorial drive for a way before turning into Longfellow park for a beer near.
BC #1:
There was beer. It was drunk. The hares stood around for a while laughing at how we thought they might have actually ran trail – apparently they hadn’t. Nothing of note happened, well, except that the cops did not come. That line will make more sense once you read the hash trash for the Macklemore trail. Not wanting us to be too drunk, if there is such a thing, the hares eventually left the same way they came.
Trail Right Tit:
Left Longfellow park and ran straight down Memorial drive. There was a brief detour off behind an apartment complex before turning left and crossing back over memorial drive to run along the river to the Charles boat house. Did I just describe an entire leg of trail in one sentence? Yup, because it was that short, and I thought ladies liked it long.
Circle/Hoe Down/Whatever happened next:
Pack slowly filtered into the Boat House and were greeted by hay-pales set up for Western photos, and a ring of tables already set up for our favourite cup-based game. No tape needed. There was also a lot of beer, multiple kegs, and a fountain of some deadly exlicer, not to mention a few cases of Shirmnov, a handle of fire ball, and a goodly about of whiskey. So basically, I am shocked that I can remember anything that happened. Here goes.
There was a significant pause between when pack arrived and circle started – I believe we drank through the first keg. Evently Iggy called us to order and we sang drink a little bit, f*ck a little bit, etc, etc. The hares were very unapologetic about their trail and drank for it. Next we called in virgins? I honestly don’t remember them, or their names, but I remember commenting that being de-viriginzed with a pabst-smir must be a memoriable event. Next all meat tacos who had never down a pabst-smir were called in. It is very hard to drink a down-down on your back; most of mine ended up on my shoulders. Not sure how. Circle continued and Butler was called in – by proxy on Gimp’s cell phone. I’m assuming we sang “My hare is a vegaitable” because, well, it’s both semi-poor-taste and semi-true. What else happened in circle? It ended?
There was a lot of food; pretty good BBQ from my recollection, however, this being a hash, there were no serving utensles so everyone tried very hard not go Viking and just use their hands. It was after food that the shots came out and the magic exlicer fountain started flowing and things get really fuzzy. Once the food was cleared away strippy cup happened but there were way too maybe people on each team – in hindsight we should have run a different game of strippy cup on each table.
Around midnight I saw someone with a broom and decided it was time to GTFO, so I did.
On – are all taco trails this fun? – On
Wikipedophillia
Notes:
A special thanks for No Man On The Moon for pinning me! She rules!
Annocuments:
There are only 6 spots left for Antibuffet, sign up:
Moon trail Friday by Necropheliac Jack and Just Tasty, start is near Back Bay?
PooF on Saturday, somewhere in Billrica details at:
Trail Sunday by Sweedish Eagle and Bloody Slip Inside (virgin lay)
Start: Pearl St. Station, Malden.
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