What: An easy orgasm trail
Where: The Field, Central
When: Sunday 3/5
Who:
Hares: Easy as 123, Orgasm Falmon
Bag Car: Spunk in the Trunk
Pack:
Motherload, Wikipedophilia, Bottom Wrangler, Can’t Eat Pussy, Fellowship of the Cockring, Clit notes, Just Alec, Virgin Andrew, Virgin Hole in Her Pants, Anal Apologist (I think?), Shektchy Ho, E=ImADocuhe, The Butler Hit It, O’Boner, Not Dead Yet, Dribbles, Goes Down on Bouys, Shits and Ladders, probably others.
Start: Was at the field, which is a great little bar in central and was empty when we arrived and was empty again when we left. It warrents a mention in this because of how they serve tea; the tea pot is ontop of the cup! It looks really cool and is something I need to find. Multiple people were sipping their beers complaining of hang overs, and, lucky for them, one of the tenants of the hash is to cure hangovers!
Chalk talk- Was held in the sunny parking lot, because it was cold. I forgot to go over pack marks, but we all got lost enough it didn’t really matter.
Trail Zig-Zag:
Much to our surprise, the hares confused the host kennel as “zig zag” not boston, as we spent about half the time dodging from one side of the street to the other. Secondarily, the sun, which was blindingly bright but bitterly cold, made seeing marks relatively hard, and as a result on more than one occasion we overran checks and called back to last mark before finding the check and scouting trail. There was a song check in front of the old River Gods, and we sang one in honor of that great bar. Trail continued to meadaner through Cambridgeport, zigging and zagging until we eventually got to the Beer Check at Magazine beach.
Beer check (surprisingly good beer):
Left overs from previous hashes were pooled into a single cooler of surprisingly good, and varried beer. There was high life, pbr and bud heavy, but also stouts, alcoholic root beer and maybe even a wine cooler or two. The lack of marks were forgiven of the hares, and we happily drank in the sun as they ran away.
Trail Windtunnels, but not actual tunnels:
Leaving the beer check Not Dead Yet scouted over the BU bridge, but didn’t find anything; trail continued along memorial drive past goose shit park and turn left behind the hyatt. Your humble scribe was, in the most brilliant mindset and was following a virgin who was scouting and who over ran a check by Washington park. This check confused the bejesuss out of every body and each direction was scouted multiple times, with most of the lemmings and wandering slowly down the road towards the MIT track. Trail, however, turned right towards a tit check and a run behind the MIT dorms. After a shot check, which was surpisingly tasty (described, by the hares, as “unicorn piss”), trail turned out to memorial drive a block before the bridge, then turning back into the MIT campous for a set of song checks (3 in a row), and, much to the packs disapointment, did not turn into the warm MIT tunnel system. Instead running more zigzags along Memorial drive before turning left again towards Kendal, to the second beer check.
Beer Check “Enjoy yourselves”
By the time we got to the beer check, after 3 checks that really confused pack, we were quiet severly split up, so Fellowship went back to rescue people - the faulty check was the last one along memorial drive, where some zenning hashers had approached the check no-no (coming in the out direction), so we never scouted that direction, and instead searched in ever widening circles towards the longfellow...anyway, eventually all were reunited and the hares dashed off for what they promised would be a “short last leg.”
Trail In the Wind:
I don’t know if it was the orientation of the building in Kendel or what, but there was a lot of wind on this leg, and since everyone “could guess” where we were headed, pack (or parts of pack) moved at a pretty good clip. There was a Turkey/Eagle split by a fence, with the Eagles hopping it and the Turkeys running around the block, and even though I called out “Turkey’s together, Turkey’s forever” it seems as though most people, including one of the virgins, took the eagle. This virgin is getting called out because the fence tore into her pants and ripped out her underwear. Remember that later for namings...a quick detour through east cambridge and we were running uphill to ONIN at Courtside.
ONIN:
The hares were brought in and comments were made; mainly about not being able to see marks, and trail zig-zagging at a non-zig-zag hash. It was the opinion of pack that they should’ve used more flour or chalk, and we made them aware of this. I don’t recall what they sung, maybe something about the size of their nipples and their necrophilac powers of their asses? Who knows. We then called in the virgins, and Spunk masterfully demented them; one was groomed and the other got dangerously close to making out with Goat, they’re horrible a math, but we taught them how to do down-downs and they are now Just whatever their names are at the top. That when opened circle up to accusations. The virgin (now just) was accused of blood on trail, so everyone who got injured drank. I was accused of multiple things, the most agrejous being that I didn’t inform my virgin not to wear new shoes, so I had to drink from my decidedly not new shoes. Analveresies were called in, 2 years, 7 year, 14 years, and these wonderful hashers were instructed to get a life. Speaking of getting a life, Butler and I were accused of hashing three days in a row. Around this time the sweet, sweet, smell of greesey cheese product ontop of editble cardboard could be detected by our olfactory senses so we quickly moved onto announcments, see blow; then we swang on.
On - all in all, a plain easy orgasm - On
-Wikipedophilia
Announcements:
Wednesday (3/8): Zig-Zag hash presents: Stroller hash for hashers in training! Foamy’s trying to start a family/kid friend hash for hashers who have reproduced! Start is at Friendly Toast in Kendel at 7pm.
Friday (3/10) - Pink Taco Trotters - Polar Whoretex Birthday trail. Start is Old Sullys in Charletown, $5...open to “people with vaginas or men who like sucking cocks on the reg” (or anyone with a sack-car pass).
Saturday (3/11): Boston Full Moon H3 - Hared by Amelia Airfart, start is in or near Forest Hills, $5, cranium cover, rage.
Sunday (3/12): Day-light raging time trail, start isn’t announced, but the website says “a brewery with brunch?”
Thrusday (3/16) - Krusty’s 12 year hashaversary Beer Mile! Details TBD, but save your sick days!
SIGN UP FOR MARATHON if you haven’t already:
If you have signed up for marathon but haven’t contacted Douche or Cum Ear about crash space do so now!
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