Hare: Swedish Eagle
Bag Car: Cuntcussion
Virgins: Zoe, Devon, Natalie
Transplant: Shell D*ck
Pack: B-A-N-A-N-A-Ass, Beeeestiality Before Boys, Blue Balls Matter, Chunderelli Chunderelli, Dribbles, Dry Hose, Drunkelweiss, Fellowship of the Cockring, Fischstick, Goat Throat, Friar F*ck, Frosty the F*ckman, Just Jess, Just Sharon, Mudslut, Marbellous *sshole, No Man on the Moon, Orgasm Famine, Pop Cum Ear I’m Infected, Popo Peepshow, Shart of Darkness, Shits and Ladders, Sketchy Ho, Slothy Seconds, Snatchchat, Strap On Strap Off, The Buttler Hit It, The Testicular Mechanics, Type A-Hole
The 7th Anal Midsummer trail was described as “aquavitorious,” “short,” and “like the movie.” Testicular was so concerned about the perceived brevity of trail that he chased Sweagle down after the second beer check to ask him to make it longer. Orgasm Famine, on the other hand, wanted to hurry things along further and wrote a song in chalk at one of the song checks rather than waiting for people to sign with. Trail was actually about 4 miles (a perfectly adequate length!) and featured an Aquavit check and high-fives from children at a middle school baseball game.
At the end Sweagle shared pickled herring, cinnamon buns, and “good” Aquavit while we gathered around an authentic maypole (an American flagpole). Cum Ear made and distributed plant crowns. Swedish Eagle did his best Swedish Frog impression and made us all hop in a circle while he sang a traditional song and we definitely were not a cult. Wikipedia suggests that the first line of this song translates to: “The little frogs, the little frogs are funny to observe” and I think that if Sweagle’s goal was to make us funny to observe, he succeeded.
Blue Balls Matter lured a veritable gaggle of virgins to trail. Virgins Natalie, Devon, and Zoe know each other and Blue Balls from a kickball team which was described as having a “fully defeated” season, so they seem to have the right competitive athletic spirit for the hash. Virgin Zoe (I think, it’s hard to tell virgins apart in the dark) actually said the right answer for the square root of 69! No Man on the Moon managed to say head, face, and lips (since when is this one off-limits?) while dementressing them. Just Devon made an accusation for everyone going to KNURD this weekend (did you know that’s DRUNK backwards? I did not).
Our transplant, Shell D*ck, comes to us from the Florida panhandle. Education is so impoverished there, he didn’t even get to learn any hash songs before coming to us! But he’s about to make up for lost time getting an MBA from “a small technical college” in the area. Good luck at Benjamin Franklin Cummings Institute of Technology!
A debate emerged about whether, since gut bacteria are described as gut flora, a tapeworm should be described as gut fauna. Dribbles… had an interaction with a brown Norwegian rat? IS a brown Norwegian rat? Type A-Hole really tried with this accusation and it went about as well as his rendition of New York, New York.
Mudslut did pushups in circle because she has some kind of weird agreement with Famine and Shart that she will do them every day as punishment until she fixes the flood damage in her house. You guys know she likes pushups, right? Maybe public shaming will work better.
On – fix your house, Mudslut – on,
Slothy Seconds
Bag Car: Cuntcussion
Virgins: Zoe, Devon, Natalie
Transplant: Shell D*ck
Pack: B-A-N-A-N-A-Ass, Beeeestiality Before Boys, Blue Balls Matter, Chunderelli Chunderelli, Dribbles, Dry Hose, Drunkelweiss, Fellowship of the Cockring, Fischstick, Goat Throat, Friar F*ck, Frosty the F*ckman, Just Jess, Just Sharon, Mudslut, Marbellous *sshole, No Man on the Moon, Orgasm Famine, Pop Cum Ear I’m Infected, Popo Peepshow, Shart of Darkness, Shits and Ladders, Sketchy Ho, Slothy Seconds, Snatchchat, Strap On Strap Off, The Buttler Hit It, The Testicular Mechanics, Type A-Hole
The 7th Anal Midsummer trail was described as “aquavitorious,” “short,” and “like the movie.” Testicular was so concerned about the perceived brevity of trail that he chased Sweagle down after the second beer check to ask him to make it longer. Orgasm Famine, on the other hand, wanted to hurry things along further and wrote a song in chalk at one of the song checks rather than waiting for people to sign with. Trail was actually about 4 miles (a perfectly adequate length!) and featured an Aquavit check and high-fives from children at a middle school baseball game.
At the end Sweagle shared pickled herring, cinnamon buns, and “good” Aquavit while we gathered around an authentic maypole (an American flagpole). Cum Ear made and distributed plant crowns. Swedish Eagle did his best Swedish Frog impression and made us all hop in a circle while he sang a traditional song and we definitely were not a cult. Wikipedia suggests that the first line of this song translates to: “The little frogs, the little frogs are funny to observe” and I think that if Sweagle’s goal was to make us funny to observe, he succeeded.
Blue Balls Matter lured a veritable gaggle of virgins to trail. Virgins Natalie, Devon, and Zoe know each other and Blue Balls from a kickball team which was described as having a “fully defeated” season, so they seem to have the right competitive athletic spirit for the hash. Virgin Zoe (I think, it’s hard to tell virgins apart in the dark) actually said the right answer for the square root of 69! No Man on the Moon managed to say head, face, and lips (since when is this one off-limits?) while dementressing them. Just Devon made an accusation for everyone going to KNURD this weekend (did you know that’s DRUNK backwards? I did not).
Our transplant, Shell D*ck, comes to us from the Florida panhandle. Education is so impoverished there, he didn’t even get to learn any hash songs before coming to us! But he’s about to make up for lost time getting an MBA from “a small technical college” in the area. Good luck at Benjamin Franklin Cummings Institute of Technology!
A debate emerged about whether, since gut bacteria are described as gut flora, a tapeworm should be described as gut fauna. Dribbles… had an interaction with a brown Norwegian rat? IS a brown Norwegian rat? Type A-Hole really tried with this accusation and it went about as well as his rendition of New York, New York.
Mudslut did pushups in circle because she has some kind of weird agreement with Famine and Shart that she will do them every day as punishment until she fixes the flood damage in her house. You guys know she likes pushups, right? Maybe public shaming will work better.
On – fix your house, Mudslut – on,
Slothy Seconds
