Epic Hashing Weekend

This scribe got lost in that damned Danvers Corn Maze this week. I REFUSED to call 911 like those pansies though, (seriously, you can WALK THROUGH CORN "WALLS") so that's why this post is a tad late...


Hashers, there were three, count 'em, THREE opportunities to hash this past weekend! This only happens maybe once every six months: Full Moon Friday, 3rd An*l Pearl Necklace Saturday, and the good 'ol standby Sunday hash.

SO: Here's what you missed if you didn't hash at all this weekend. (...more virgins and beer for the rest of us!)


BMH3 #110 Friday 10/14/11
1) A rainy, cold moon hash that included locals and visitors from far and wide alike!
2) SO MUCH BEER at said moon hash.
3) Inaugural trail for new GMs Balls Deep and T Bags!
4) An hours late T Bags blaming traffic for his tardiness, but we really know he was working on his swag in the mirror to try to seduce harriettes later that evening...
5) It really cannot be stressed enough that there was SO MUCH BEER. This is why Moon trails are the best trails.


3rd An*l Pearl Necklace "Wicked Itch of the East" Saturday 10/15/11
Hares: There were a lot of them
Bag Car: There were a lot of them (or just one?)
Pack: About 45 unlucky wankers from near and far that were crazy enough to rego!
Visitors: Yoron, Harlot, Squatch, Roscoe ... and a lot of other people.

Trail:
Pre-lube started at Tavern on the Water. In case you were wondering, Tavern on the Water is in fact on the water, and no where near any T stop. Except one bus line. Who's idea was that? There was, however, a magnificent view of Boston to remind us all of the city we crisscross weekly. And most importantly, there was BEER.

After a quick chalk talk where were all discussed where one visiting hasher may end up after sufficiently drunk that evening, we went out to find trail. (Anyone know what actually happened to him?) The pack promptly got lost within the first five minutes. Tricky hares. The first leg led us to some glorious truck stops with Porno Mags galore! The first circle included some big butt beauties found on the pages of those magazines, and some very, VERY drunk hares. It ended when we ran out of beer. A sad sight to see.

The second leg of trail led us through Chelsea and East Boston for a beer check under Route 1, a terribly marked trail where this scribe got separated from the pack, got lost, and ultimately ended up stopping into Dunkin Donuts to refuel with a delicious hot latte. Not the Dirty Sanchez kind, sorry boys. Poor AB got injured and had to limp off to lay down and die... By the time the scribe caught up with the pack at the second circle in Belle Isle Marsh, the pack had picked up a spontaneous virgin!! Can you believe it? We are an attractive bunch; I guess she couldn't resist our charm. We also celebrated the completion of the 13 beer challenge by FRBBB, Maid of Honor, and someone else. They could barely stand.

Third leg of trail finally included some lunch, and found us drunkenly stumbling into Beachmont and Revere. Honestly, I don't really remember what happened, except that we r*n in a straight line for a very long time until we wound up at The Cove! Third circle and the celebration of the end of Pearl Necklace commenced. We renamed an out-of-town hasher from Burlington, VT. Her NEW name is Harlot Globe Fondler!


Hashers listen up! We named Just Kathryn! She will forever now be known at the hash as Tail Gagger! She also goes down in history as the fastest naming ever at the Boston Hash.


BH3 Sunday Trail #(figuring that out...) 10/16/11
"The Longest Fat Boy Trail EVER"
Hare: Wikiepedophelia
Bag car: Butler
RA: Nips
Sub-Dementress: Oink Oink
Scribe: Oink Oink
Pre-Lube: Punter's Pub
Pack: Roscoe, Nips, Assburger, Goat, Bros, Douche, Better Late then Pregnant, Dribbles, Just Dave, Just Frank, Sugar Hump Fairy, Just Brandon, Just Arjil, Pat My Fly, Just Mark, Just James, Oink Oink, and Virgin Liz!

Trail:
We all knew it was c*mming. A wonderful fatboy trail where we could drink beer while slowly moseying along. Wiki was dressed in jeans at the bar and he didn't even bring chalk or flour to mark trail and was begging for donations. And then Bros happened. Bros made a comment to Wiki that not everyone had been at Pearl Necklace the day before. Wiki felt compelled to give these lazy wankers a trail; he changed into appropriate clothing and took off.

The hare got lost. And so did the pack. A huge Mass Ave intersection left us completely blindsided and lost for 15 minutes. In fact, we trudged along for almost FOUR MILES before we found the first beer check in the Fens. Our favorite game Bag-O began! Pat got into the check just as we were leaving and had no beer to drink and no orange food to eat! About a mile after the first check the trail changed to cajun. Wiki was out of chalk and the pack was about to be on their own. After two miles we came upon a Shaw's Supermarket. Second check was in an alley behind it - chosen specifically so Wiki could buy flour to continue trail. You heard that right. We had now covered over six miles and Wiki was buying materials to continue trail. Fortunately, Wiki knew there would be a mutiny if he didn't mark trail and lead us to some beer soon. Flour was strewn all about the sidewalks - not in clumps - in lines so the pack couldn't get lost. And then it happened: We found the On-In exactly where we had left it. We staggered into Punter's Pub, an A-A "fat boy" trail complete.

Circle:
-Wiki got called into circle of course. Who sets a 7+ mile trail after a Pearl Necklace?
-Bros was called into circle for causing the 7+ mile trail
-Virgin Liz was called into circle and Oink tried her hardest to de-virginize properly. At least we got to witness the demonstration of her favorite sexual position!
-Overachievers were called in for attending all three trails: Assburger, Roscoe, Wiki, Bros, and Yoron
-Visitors: Yoron and Roscoe
-Sweat test failure: Cherry Poppin' Patty
-A few wankers stopped for food on trail: Yoron, Better Late, and Douche all stopped to eat! In the middle of trail!
-FBI: Dribbles
-FRB: Bros
-Backslider: Better Late than Pregnant


So there you have it! Detrails are of course fuzzy due to copious amounts of beer, but you can be sure you missed an epic weekend of debauchery.

Don't forget that AGM is this upcoming weekend! See bostonhash.com or our very own twitter feed @BostonHash for detrails.