Feb 10, 2013: A Threesome in Newton
Table 1 : Pack
Hare: Friar F*ck
Pack: The Buttler Hit It. E = I'm a D*uche
Beer backpack (suspiciously large for only six beers): Friar F*ck
Table 2 : Trail
FRB: E = I'm a D*uche
FBI: The Buttler Hit It
DFL: Friar F*ck
Sweat test failure: Just Skeeter
Table 3 : Alcohols
Prelube : Miller High Life
Beer Check 1 : Bag-O and Miller High Life
Inter-BC1/2: Bag-O
Beer Check 2: Very much like BC 1
Post BC2: More Bag-O
Hare Snare Shot Check: 1800 Reposado Tequila
Post-hare snare. pre-on-in: More Bag-O. Small scare when it got stuck in a tree. (To find out who caused this grim situation, read on...)
On-In: Some sort of gluten-free beer, which was fairly delicious. All of the above.
Chapter 1: The Pre-Prelube:
After failed attempts to make various harriettes c*m, The Buttler Hit It ("Buttler") and E = I'm a D*uche ("E") set off from Davis square, sans t*ts. After a 20 minute ride where absolutely no illicit substances were consumed, they arrived in Newt*n. Buttler deftly avoided an insane woman in a Mini. They eventually arrived in an abandoned parking lot in the Newton ghetto.
As expected, no trail was laid to the prelube. Blindly following technology to the start address, Buttler and E eventually called Friar. They learned that the abandoned office building was in fact Friar's house. Sensing beer was near, they entered...
Chapter 2: The Prelube
Buttler took off his pants while E searched for beer. E found a 30 of High Life (no OJ :() in a snowbank out the side door. Unlike most hash High Life, it was not warm, and in fact had chunks of beer ice in it. ( I feel beer ice needs a proper name, but I have absolutely no ideas). When E returned, he was relieved to find that Buttler had put a Kilt on. They then attempted to convince Just Skeeter to c*m on trail with them. Unfortunately, Just Skeeter declared that he was "Too old for this sh*t", and went back to bed. Friar left with an enormous sack, which the pack feared might not satisfy their desires on trail.
Chapter 3: Friar's first leg
Trail went uphill. No one was surprised. It shortly took a sharp left into deep snow, which led onto an aqueduct. Avoiding several youths and their dogs, Buttler and E followed trail and descended the hill on the far side of the aqueduct. A man and his child commented on the temperature of Buttler's balls. Definitely not following footprints instead of marks, the pack found Friar at the bottom of the hill, drinking a beer...
Chapter 4: The First Beer Check
High Life's (High Lives?) were lined up in a row for each member of the pack. A Bag-O was also present, which subsequently accompanied the pack on trail. Intellectual conversation was had about aqueducts. Buttler attempted to sit down, but didn't like how the snow felt on his bare balls.
Chapter 5: Friar's second leg
10 minutes after watching Friar painfully ascend the hill, the pack set off. Trail doubled back on itself, causing mass confusion. Finally escaping onto fresh trail, the pack c*me upon pavement. Alas, several checks later, they lost trail. Finally, Hope! A playground in the distance! Assuming beer must be near, the pack climbed a fence and ran into another man with child.
The man attempted to con the pack out of two dollars in exchange for information on the hares. The pack attempted to steal his child's sled (The hill had a jump!). Eventually an agreement was made, and the man relented that the hare had headed "off into the sunset". (Seriously what he said). The pack really should have known which way Friar had gone: across a carefully crafted "SAM" written in the snow, someone with a large sack had drawn an ungainly line. Following this, and crossing yet another fence, the pack found...
Chapter 6: The second beer check
More beer. More Bag-O. More debate on how unsafe the ice was.
Chapter 7: Friar's third leg
Longer than expected. Not very well defined. Despite most the marks being a bright orange chalk, the pack found a true trail laid in mysteriously yellow snow. Shortly thereafter, E snared the hare. There was an inmpromptu shot check befire the hare set off. More intellectual conversation, and another mysteriously yellow mark ("H.S."), apparently laid with Buttler's "pack chalk". After 5 minutes, the pack set out again. C*mming up on the hare yet again, the pack stayed back, as not to spook him. While waiting, the pack played Bag-O. Buttler tossed Bag-O into a tree. E heroically retrieved it from the tree. Soon enough, they were off again, lost, regretting their decision to not follow the hare. The pack passed the base of a radio tower, and yet another intellectual conversation ensued. Eventually back on the main road, the pack wandered around in search of marks for a while, then started to zen back to the on-in. They encountered the hare, who fell in behind th e pack, and somehow became DFL.
Chapter 8: On-In
Delicious lasagna. Circle (triangle?). Lots of accusations. Surprisingly long. New songs. Relief that the pack wasn't stuck at a tit check, waiting for a stranger. Skeeter doing mushrooms. Truck across the street failing at plowing. Good beer. Almost finished Bag-O.
Chapter 9: Epilogue
E and his delightful companion, DoucheLand, laid the Trail of the Year.the following week. Absolutely no one was upset about trail, there was only good beer and good food, and the entire pack got laid.
Table 1 : Pack
Hare: Friar F*ck
Pack: The Buttler Hit It. E = I'm a D*uche
Beer backpack (suspiciously large for only six beers): Friar F*ck
Table 2 : Trail
FRB: E = I'm a D*uche
FBI: The Buttler Hit It
DFL: Friar F*ck
Sweat test failure: Just Skeeter
Table 3 : Alcohols
Prelube : Miller High Life
Beer Check 1 : Bag-O and Miller High Life
Inter-BC1/2: Bag-O
Beer Check 2: Very much like BC 1
Post BC2: More Bag-O
Hare Snare Shot Check: 1800 Reposado Tequila
Post-hare snare. pre-on-in: More Bag-O. Small scare when it got stuck in a tree. (To find out who caused this grim situation, read on...)
On-In: Some sort of gluten-free beer, which was fairly delicious. All of the above.
Chapter 1: The Pre-Prelube:
After failed attempts to make various harriettes c*m, The Buttler Hit It ("Buttler") and E = I'm a D*uche ("E") set off from Davis square, sans t*ts. After a 20 minute ride where absolutely no illicit substances were consumed, they arrived in Newt*n. Buttler deftly avoided an insane woman in a Mini. They eventually arrived in an abandoned parking lot in the Newton ghetto.
As expected, no trail was laid to the prelube. Blindly following technology to the start address, Buttler and E eventually called Friar. They learned that the abandoned office building was in fact Friar's house. Sensing beer was near, they entered...
Chapter 2: The Prelube
Buttler took off his pants while E searched for beer. E found a 30 of High Life (no OJ :() in a snowbank out the side door. Unlike most hash High Life, it was not warm, and in fact had chunks of beer ice in it. ( I feel beer ice needs a proper name, but I have absolutely no ideas). When E returned, he was relieved to find that Buttler had put a Kilt on. They then attempted to convince Just Skeeter to c*m on trail with them. Unfortunately, Just Skeeter declared that he was "Too old for this sh*t", and went back to bed. Friar left with an enormous sack, which the pack feared might not satisfy their desires on trail.
Chapter 3: Friar's first leg
Trail went uphill. No one was surprised. It shortly took a sharp left into deep snow, which led onto an aqueduct. Avoiding several youths and their dogs, Buttler and E followed trail and descended the hill on the far side of the aqueduct. A man and his child commented on the temperature of Buttler's balls. Definitely not following footprints instead of marks, the pack found Friar at the bottom of the hill, drinking a beer...
Chapter 4: The First Beer Check
High Life's (High Lives?) were lined up in a row for each member of the pack. A Bag-O was also present, which subsequently accompanied the pack on trail. Intellectual conversation was had about aqueducts. Buttler attempted to sit down, but didn't like how the snow felt on his bare balls.
Chapter 5: Friar's second leg
10 minutes after watching Friar painfully ascend the hill, the pack set off. Trail doubled back on itself, causing mass confusion. Finally escaping onto fresh trail, the pack c*me upon pavement. Alas, several checks later, they lost trail. Finally, Hope! A playground in the distance! Assuming beer must be near, the pack climbed a fence and ran into another man with child.
The man attempted to con the pack out of two dollars in exchange for information on the hares. The pack attempted to steal his child's sled (The hill had a jump!). Eventually an agreement was made, and the man relented that the hare had headed "off into the sunset". (Seriously what he said). The pack really should have known which way Friar had gone: across a carefully crafted "SAM" written in the snow, someone with a large sack had drawn an ungainly line. Following this, and crossing yet another fence, the pack found...
Chapter 6: The second beer check
More beer. More Bag-O. More debate on how unsafe the ice was.
Chapter 7: Friar's third leg
Longer than expected. Not very well defined. Despite most the marks being a bright orange chalk, the pack found a true trail laid in mysteriously yellow snow. Shortly thereafter, E snared the hare. There was an inmpromptu shot check befire the hare set off. More intellectual conversation, and another mysteriously yellow mark ("H.S."), apparently laid with Buttler's "pack chalk". After 5 minutes, the pack set out again. C*mming up on the hare yet again, the pack stayed back, as not to spook him. While waiting, the pack played Bag-O. Buttler tossed Bag-O into a tree. E heroically retrieved it from the tree. Soon enough, they were off again, lost, regretting their decision to not follow the hare. The pack passed the base of a radio tower, and yet another intellectual conversation ensued. Eventually back on the main road, the pack wandered around in search of marks for a while, then started to zen back to the on-in. They encountered the hare, who fell in behind th e pack, and somehow became DFL.
Chapter 8: On-In
Delicious lasagna. Circle (triangle?). Lots of accusations. Surprisingly long. New songs. Relief that the pack wasn't stuck at a tit check, waiting for a stranger. Skeeter doing mushrooms. Truck across the street failing at plowing. Good beer. Almost finished Bag-O.
Chapter 9: Epilogue
E and his delightful companion, DoucheLand, laid the Trail of the Year.the following week. Absolutely no one was upset about trail, there was only good beer and good food, and the entire pack got laid.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment