An Easy Wiki Black Tie Affair

What: An Easy Wiki Black Tie Trail

Hares: Easy as 123 and Wikipedophelia

Bag car: Señor C*cksucker

Who: Buttler, Bend Over Mommy, 5 Inch Penalty, Friar F*ck, +2 Coonass, Gnome, Bum Fucking Vagibond, Krusty the Meat Miser, Delta Phile, Luv-a-lamp, Buoys (sorta?), Just Patrick x2, Just Carissa*, Just Ian, and anyone I forgot

This weekend, I decided to take a break from my busy Sunday schedule of napping, nursing hangovers and looking at Instagram pictures of golden retrievers and, instead, I made it out to a truly excellent Easy Wiki affair.

It was a nasty, drizzly day, but that didn't stop the hashers present from breaking out their Sunday best. Bend Over Mommy, Just Patrick, Just Carissa and Luv-a-Lamp were runway-ready in various flowing gowns. The people of Newton welcomed us as one of their own as we traipsed past some kind of seminary? boys camp? religious thing?, stumbled down a hill, and attracted curious/admiring glances from passersby.

Trail was aggressive from the very first shot check, which was a Black Russian check. A lot of it. Surprisingly, we finished the entire shot check before moving on (though the bottle had to make a LOT of trips around the circle). Even more surprisingly, no one refunded as we moved on to the next part of trail, which actually took place on a trail. There were plenty of uphill falses (I know because I ran all of them), a babbling brook that just so happened to cover the entire trail, and even an equal opportunity check (which is the name I just made up for boob checks immediately followed by dick checks).

Immediately after going over the river and through the woods, we found the first beer check. Oh, sorry, did I say beer check? I meant beer-and-champagne check. No, scratch that - I meant GOOD-beer-and-champagne check. We popped some bubbly, mixed it with our good beer (is that a Shamwow? I attended trail and I'm *still* not entirely sure what a Shamwow is), and drank from red cups with our pinkies out.

In typical Sharty fashion, I had availed myself freely of the Black Russians, champagne, and beer of a much higher quality (and therefore alcohol percentage) than I am used to. That's my way of saying that the next part of trail was something of a blur. We ran through some more woods, magically made it over to the BC Reservoir, ran around that and had another beer check... Things happened, and eventually we stumbled into the On-In.

The On-In was completely empty except for us at first, until an older couple came in and proceeded to tell us that they were just about to head back to the Cape (not sure why relevant?) and that we were giving them a headache. So we, surprisingly considerately, whispered the rest of circle.

~*~*~*~NAMING~*~*~*~

Anyway, it was decided that Just Carissa needed to be named. She probably told some stories. (Sorry, I'm the worst scribe ever). It also was pointed out that, at one point, she imbibed from a traffic cone. Since she was wearing a beautiful Snow White -esque gown, we eventually settled on several options including Blow White or Blow Cone. I can't quite remember which option won, to be honest, and neither were the other circle attendees that I later asked. So pick the one you like better and start calling her that, and maybe it'll stick.

Anyway, I've about exhausted my meager memories, so I apologize if there's anything or anyone that I forgot. Til next time, wankers!

On-next time I will either take better notes or get less drunk-on,

¡Shart!