Cumbridge H3 Pre-dance party hash

What: Cumbridge H3 Dance party pre-lube trail

Where: Mircle of Science

When: 6HST, Friday June 27, 2014

Who:

Hares:

Krusty the Meatmiser, Goat Throat

Pack:

Can’t Eat Pussy, Wikipedophilia, Schindler’s Fist, THE 2^nd Cumming*, Friar Fuck, 5” Penatly, Just Girl Who Brought the Virgins, Easy as 1,23, Easy to Please, Bum Fucking Vagabond, 3 ring cervix, Mr. Bean, Virgin Girl, Virgin Guy, Virgin Guy Who Was Scared of Me, Plus 2 Coonass, Yellow dick gnome, Clit notes, Blonde McFucksalot, Just Pat, Other justs, Save a Tree Ride a Cowboy.

Prelube:

On my way to the prelube, as I was passing a muggle in running gear, I was asked if I was a hasher and if I knew where we were going, after answering in the affirmative to both questions, I dratted across Mass Ave and into the Mircale, finding just CEP quietly sipping a beer. After explaining some things to the justs – that they can drink at the bar – we started milling around and cheering as pack arrived and we slowly started to take over the bar. Right about the time that the establishment was getting annoyed with us the hares finally got gay, straight, ambiguous, or whatever happens at the Krusty Goat and left us to our own devices. After having another round at the start, bag car was called and we left. Bag car was appartently a 5 minute walk away, but eventually we circled and CEP explained to us the marks we would be seeing.

Trail Square:

Starting in front of the prelube, trail turned down Mass ave towards Boston for a block or two until the first check, the justs and 5inch scouted right, but came back without anything and the rest of us ran straight, checking both sides of the street, before doubling back and finding marks right, leading us eventually to a song check by a housing project, then towards the One Kendal Square development to a CB 4, looping through a loading dock then out to some train tracks. There were no marks on the train tracks, though a fence which I hopped when doubling back to find trail, and which Kursty admitted to jumping when he lay the false. Trail ran towards Kendal proper and up some stairs to a BC on top of the Marriot.

BC Roof Deck:

Pack swelled here, with Vag, a Just, and 2^nd showing up. The walkers – who were in equal number to the hashers – had bet us there and we nicely handing out ice cold beers. Topics of discussion included, but were not limited too, the German invasion of the Caucuses, marathon theme ideas, and car pools to Poof. Eventually we noticed that the hares had been gone for a while (sex on trail? Most likely) and we decided to chance after them.

Trail Line:

Down the stairs and through the google rainbow lobby trail led us across Main street, and behind the Kendal Square in, through a hole in the fence, then back to Main street to a check by the MIT dorms, I think. Trail ran into what I’m calling the MIT quad to a song check in front of the amphitheater. Pack reformed and sang the hasher-scale-song then ran up the stairs. Others of us, knowing that what goes up must come down, ran around amphitheater and found it coming out the other side. A few back alleys later, trail pretty much ran through every building in the MIT campus – or at least that’s how I remember. I was solo-FRBing at that point, so the smaht kids just ignored me. There was a song check by some flag pole that pack reformed at, and trail went back through another building before finally cross Mass Ave (after another song check). Through the main quad – I think – (the one near the dorms and cafeteria), trail hit upon a dick check followed by a Beer Mile Near. Pack all of a sudden got both nervous and excited at this unexpected development, but it was an FBM (false beer mile) and trail ran down the rail road tracks to On-In at Washington Park.

On-In (but not the end of trail)

The pack arrived before bag car and was informed that while we were physically at the OnIn, we were not finished with trail. This generally confused the pack, us being simple minded creatures, but we waited patiently until goat came running down the street followed by Coonass driving the goat-mobile. Once the beer had arrived we were told what was going to happen next.

YARD Challenge:

I’m pretty sure I’m getting the acronym wrong, but, whatever, it probably stands for “Y’all Are Really Dumb.” Pack was broken up into 6 4-person teams (maybe) and told what to do.

1.)    Drink a hand-held box of wine. As a team. The person drinking needs to be on their back and cannot touch or hold the box (ie they have to be fed).

2.)    Drink a 22 0z can of beer while changing clothes.

3.)    Slap shots.

Depending on whom you talked to, either team #1 or #2 won, but it doesn’t really matter, since we all either lost (or won) since we all completed it.

Circle-

Finally started. The hares were called in, and told that they should have used more flour and chalk. FRBs and FBIs, and DFLs were called in, then we got to the 3 virgins. Cumbridge dementing is the abridged version, as we showed them how to do a down-down, then sang an interesting version of a madona song before welcoming them. If any other kennel wants to properly dement them, they can. We then called anyone who had run a real cumbridge (non beer mile) trail into drink, SATRAC, 2^nd, Krusty, Goat, Frair, and Fisty drank for that one. We were running out of beer so “whatever they really call it” down-down was brought out and awarded to Krusty and Goat for trying to revive the non-BM version of the kennel.

We swang low, then stumbled to the Cambridge dance party to dance our faces off.

On – DANCE – ON

-Wikiepedophilia

Announcements:

Wednesday: In-Da-Panties Day,  

Where: Clarke's  at Faneuil Hall, Merchants Row, Boston (nearest T is State St, or Haymarket)

When: 630 HST

Friday- July 4^th – Beer in front of the Hyatt? Maybe? Does anyone want to do this?

July 10,11,12: Invihash

http://www.burlingtonhash.com/BH3New2/Invihash2014.php

August 14-17: GAP

http://www.413h3.com/

September 13^th: !!!AGM!!!

November: PTH3 SADDIE HAWKINS

December: Anti-Buffet

April 2015: MARATHON

Friar F*cks 20th An*lversery Hash

What: Frair’s 20^th An*lversery Hash
Where: Riverside T-Stop

Who:

Hare: Friar F*ck

Bag Car: Goat Throat

Pack:

Wikipedophilia, Easy as 1,2,3, Bum fucking Vagabond, Just Joel, Just Mohammad, Just Someelse, Just Paul, The Fat One, Reverend Blow-hole, Extra Terrestical, Beat By A Girl, E=I’m a Douche, Pop Cum Ear I’m Infected, Bend Over Mommy, Luva Lamp, 5 inch Penatly

Chalk talk: Was simple. We were told the rules of a friar hash – if you see him lumbering along, snare him at your own risk, or just stop and wait a bit.

Trail Loop 1: Starting out of the parking lot, trail ascended the embankment up to a road, then hit a check and turned right past the Indego Hotel. With arrow-less marks (just lines), trail was marked ambiguously as either straight into Lower Falls, or down the on ramp to 128. After vigorously scouting the bridge over the highway, trail turned right again and ran down a semi-unused ramp to recreation road, through a parking lot then into some quasi-shiggy. Crossing a rather lovely little bridge, trail hit a check at the base of an embankment, and did not go straight up the hill to the rail road tracks. Instead, trail paralleled the hill on a gradual rise to a very random brigde under the tracks where the hash was rewarded with COLD beer, chips and orange food dip.

BC #1: Everyone was impressed by this random tunnel that no one knew existed and we all agreed was a sctechy as fuck, and we all loved it. Pack filtered in in bits, with all the fine and proper ladies – not wanting to break a sweat – taking a pleasant stroll along trail. After friar had been gone a while, we decided it was time to leave, and left.

Trail second loop:

Runnning downhill from the beer check (always a bad idea), pack turned and ran under a bridge then half way up a hill before realizing there were no marks. Trail had actually continued to run downhill through a DPW area, then across an actively falling apart bridge, that, luckily, held everyone up. Running past a waste plant – only the most pleasant of smells on this hash – trail scaled an embankment and crossed a set of active commuter rail tracks. By crossed I mean didn’t actually cross at all, but ran along them before turning back into the same parking lot and pleseant bridge that the first half of trail had run over. However, since the FRBs zenned directly across the tracks, found a check, then ran no-no (trail backwards) to the loop on the rail road, everyone was totally lost. Apparently one of the justs scouted down the original trail and either knew what he was doing, or got lucky. Either way, some people scouted the rail road tracks back and forth across 128, into a golf course, and up gas line to the Fidelity Investment parking lot, without finding any marks of sign of trail. Eventually, though, everyone made it to the shot check which was a the base of a swiftly flowing culvert behind the riverside train yard.

Shot check by the water: Was, cool, crisp, and tasted like warm apple pie.

Trail from the shot check: Was short and predictable. We ran up an embankment, across an abandoned rail bridge to the island in the middle of 128. OnIn was marked on the other side, but fuck all that noise, we moved it back to the point of the island because it’s a much more bad-ass location.

OnIn: Friar had provided us with English tea-sandwiches, which, with the exception of the onion-and-cheese, were not that bad. There was beer and water and conversation. After a while we started thinking about starting circle, when we realized that Easy and Vagabond were nowhere to be found. We definitely rememebered seeing them at the shot check, but no one had seen them since. We were slightly concerned – thinking that maybe they didn’t know that circle had moved since we didn’t do anything helpful like mark it. Goat went looking for them, and eventually returned with two well lubricated harriets. They had stayed at the shot check, finished the apple-pie vodka and then walked trail to the original circle. Not seeing any sign of pack, Goat found them leaning against his car, and retrieved them for us.

Circle:

We called in Friar for laying a shitty trail, and when asked to sing a sung he sung an old Boston song set to the tune of “Charlie and the MBTA.” Surprisingly enough I was e-mailed the lyrics to this song by an old Boston hasher (Swampy) who I met at Pittsburg AGM last year. Friar had his own verse about poision ivy, which, by the way my legs are burning, I’m assuming I ran through last night, and we sung some others. The full lyrics are attached below. Twat then told a story about Friars virgin trail, as told by one of the hashers who was there.

“Recreation road was used as a gay cruising area, so when a random guy in jeans, boots, and a long sleeve shirt showed up and started walking in circles near us, we thought he was cruising, but, instead, it was “Virgin Austin” soon to be “Just Austin” then to be “Numb Nuts” and finally to be “Friar Fuck””

Backsliders – the fat one – were called in, and visitors – Revered Blow Hole – were also made to do down-downs. Blow Hole sang us a great song that NH3 had written about BH3, but I forgot it…

There were accusations – though not many – and it was getting dark. 

On-After was at some dive in Wayland, though I wasn’t able to go. I’m assuming everyone ate food without onions, drank non-Budwiser, and generally had a bonding moment returning with better friends than they went with.

On – Here’s to 20 more years of Frair Fuck – On

-Wikipedophila

Announcements:

Cumbridge H3: Real trail (dance party pre-lube), Friday starting a 6HST at Miricle of Science.

Boston H3: Drinking by Charles – July 4^th all afternoon and until the Fireworks. Normal spot in front of the Hyatt. Beer. Maybe trail.

NH3: Swimmer Hash, July 13^th – Look them up on FB

Burlington: Invihash July 11,12,13 – Sign up.

413 H3: GAP, August 15,16,17, Sing up.