Friar F*cks 20th An*lversery Hash

What: Frair’s 20^th An*lversery Hash
Where: Riverside T-Stop

Who:

Hare: Friar F*ck

Bag Car: Goat Throat

Pack:

Wikipedophilia, Easy as 1,2,3, Bum fucking Vagabond, Just Joel, Just Mohammad, Just Someelse, Just Paul, The Fat One, Reverend Blow-hole, Extra Terrestical, Beat By A Girl, E=I’m a Douche, Pop Cum Ear I’m Infected, Bend Over Mommy, Luva Lamp, 5 inch Penatly

Chalk talk: Was simple. We were told the rules of a friar hash – if you see him lumbering along, snare him at your own risk, or just stop and wait a bit.

Trail Loop 1: Starting out of the parking lot, trail ascended the embankment up to a road, then hit a check and turned right past the Indego Hotel. With arrow-less marks (just lines), trail was marked ambiguously as either straight into Lower Falls, or down the on ramp to 128. After vigorously scouting the bridge over the highway, trail turned right again and ran down a semi-unused ramp to recreation road, through a parking lot then into some quasi-shiggy. Crossing a rather lovely little bridge, trail hit a check at the base of an embankment, and did not go straight up the hill to the rail road tracks. Instead, trail paralleled the hill on a gradual rise to a very random brigde under the tracks where the hash was rewarded with COLD beer, chips and orange food dip.

BC #1: Everyone was impressed by this random tunnel that no one knew existed and we all agreed was a sctechy as fuck, and we all loved it. Pack filtered in in bits, with all the fine and proper ladies – not wanting to break a sweat – taking a pleasant stroll along trail. After friar had been gone a while, we decided it was time to leave, and left.

Trail second loop:

Runnning downhill from the beer check (always a bad idea), pack turned and ran under a bridge then half way up a hill before realizing there were no marks. Trail had actually continued to run downhill through a DPW area, then across an actively falling apart bridge, that, luckily, held everyone up. Running past a waste plant – only the most pleasant of smells on this hash – trail scaled an embankment and crossed a set of active commuter rail tracks. By crossed I mean didn’t actually cross at all, but ran along them before turning back into the same parking lot and pleseant bridge that the first half of trail had run over. However, since the FRBs zenned directly across the tracks, found a check, then ran no-no (trail backwards) to the loop on the rail road, everyone was totally lost. Apparently one of the justs scouted down the original trail and either knew what he was doing, or got lucky. Either way, some people scouted the rail road tracks back and forth across 128, into a golf course, and up gas line to the Fidelity Investment parking lot, without finding any marks of sign of trail. Eventually, though, everyone made it to the shot check which was a the base of a swiftly flowing culvert behind the riverside train yard.

Shot check by the water: Was, cool, crisp, and tasted like warm apple pie.

Trail from the shot check: Was short and predictable. We ran up an embankment, across an abandoned rail bridge to the island in the middle of 128. OnIn was marked on the other side, but fuck all that noise, we moved it back to the point of the island because it’s a much more bad-ass location.

OnIn: Friar had provided us with English tea-sandwiches, which, with the exception of the onion-and-cheese, were not that bad. There was beer and water and conversation. After a while we started thinking about starting circle, when we realized that Easy and Vagabond were nowhere to be found. We definitely rememebered seeing them at the shot check, but no one had seen them since. We were slightly concerned – thinking that maybe they didn’t know that circle had moved since we didn’t do anything helpful like mark it. Goat went looking for them, and eventually returned with two well lubricated harriets. They had stayed at the shot check, finished the apple-pie vodka and then walked trail to the original circle. Not seeing any sign of pack, Goat found them leaning against his car, and retrieved them for us.

Circle:

We called in Friar for laying a shitty trail, and when asked to sing a sung he sung an old Boston song set to the tune of “Charlie and the MBTA.” Surprisingly enough I was e-mailed the lyrics to this song by an old Boston hasher (Swampy) who I met at Pittsburg AGM last year. Friar had his own verse about poision ivy, which, by the way my legs are burning, I’m assuming I ran through last night, and we sung some others. The full lyrics are attached below. Twat then told a story about Friars virgin trail, as told by one of the hashers who was there.

“Recreation road was used as a gay cruising area, so when a random guy in jeans, boots, and a long sleeve shirt showed up and started walking in circles near us, we thought he was cruising, but, instead, it was “Virgin Austin” soon to be “Just Austin” then to be “Numb Nuts” and finally to be “Friar Fuck””

Backsliders – the fat one – were called in, and visitors – Revered Blow Hole – were also made to do down-downs. Blow Hole sang us a great song that NH3 had written about BH3, but I forgot it…

There were accusations – though not many – and it was getting dark. 

On-After was at some dive in Wayland, though I wasn’t able to go. I’m assuming everyone ate food without onions, drank non-Budwiser, and generally had a bonding moment returning with better friends than they went with.

On – Here’s to 20 more years of Frair Fuck – On

-Wikipedophila

Announcements:

Cumbridge H3: Real trail (dance party pre-lube), Friday starting a 6HST at Miricle of Science.

Boston H3: Drinking by Charles – July 4^th all afternoon and until the Fireworks. Normal spot in front of the Hyatt. Beer. Maybe trail.

NH3: Swimmer Hash, July 13^th – Look them up on FB

Burlington: Invihash July 11,12,13 – Sign up.

413 H3: GAP, August 15,16,17, Sing up.