What: Tropical Hash XIII
Hares: Hare Club for Queers, Mastor Gator
Bag car: Pat my Fly
Start: Punters Connar Larkins
Pack: Nice Tits, Fellowship of the Cockring, Poo poo peep
show, Jello Wreck ‘em, Some Virgin, High Anus, Yankee Pay $5 More, Sex The
Final Frontier, THE 2nd Cumming, Just Jeff, Stuff that Reich Now,
Orgasm Falmon, Twat My Mom, Blowbot, Swedish Eagle, Whack A Hole, Spunk In The
Trunk, The Butler Hit it, Clitnotes, Skechty Ho, Clitnotes, Placentos the
Freshmaker, Queer and Foaming in my Anus, Pubic Service Announcement, Five In
Penatly, E=ImDouche, Pop cum ear I’m ineffective, Super Teflong Dong, Oink Oink
Ohhh, maybe others? I tried to keep attendance but failed.
Prelube:
The start was not at Punters, but apparently, Popo,
Fellowship, Jello and their virgin hung out there for a while as the cleaning
staff was moping before eventually moving the prelube to Conar Larkins. Once
everyone was at Conar Larkins, they might have posted in the FB event, and Tits
joked about updating the hotline because no one ever checks it, maybe, in the
end, she did, I don’t know. Pack slowly started to arrive at the start and we
all tried to find the most tropical beer they had (there was a beer from Hawaii
on tap) and donned our lays and Hawaiian shirts over multiple layers of thermal
“exercise” gear. The hares left right on time, 15 minutes late, at 3:15, and
bag car was called about 15 minutes after that.
Trail Antiqua (holy shit I spelled that right! First try!):
Starting with a very animated (to stay warm) chalk talk, our
RA for the day – Clitnotes – instructed us on all of the marks we would see, and
all of the checks we wouldn’t. The bag car was parked two blocks towards the
city from Connars, and the first mark was in front of the bar pointing towards
the MFA, so, in an effort to dispel the cold, we took off looking for beer.
Trail ran straight from Conars back to Punters before crossing Huntington and
going through parts of Northeastern, before turning we’ll call it right-ish towards
some abandonded lots and “light” housing projects. At the edge of the abandoned
lots was a bottle of yellow liquid (gatoraid?) and half a bottle of coconut
rum, which the FRBs completely destroyed leaving empty bottles for the rest of
pack. Leaving the shot check was a most interesting mark – CB0 – which apparently
is just a normal check, but YHS decided to run a lap around the block just to
make sure. Trail continued vaguely up hill, skirting the edge of what I’m
calling mission hill, before turning left and crossing over what I think is
called Columbia road and into RCC. Nice Tits commented that she hadn’t hashed
through here in a while, and I said that I vaguely recalled a trail by Goat and
Fire (bikini/parking garage hash?) that beer checked at a park near by. We did
not go to that park directly; instead we scrambled up some shiggy – with the
requesit ‘get off my lawn’ from the
property owner – and then through an interesting warren of alleys and passage
ways, around (or through?) a church, and then to the very park that I had
mentioned earlier, where we indeed found cold, refreshing, good beer.
Beer Check Bora Bora:
The beer was surprisingly good – Sam Winter and Yeungling
for the FRBs – and the rest of pack got PBRs. There was orange food and what
looked like Hare Clubs holiday party left overs (chocolate dipped pretzels, peppermint
bark, etc). Despite the good beer and surprising food, the BC was a bit exposed
to the light tropical breezes coming off the South Pacific, so, after strong
urging from the pack, the hares were gay, and, in the time it takes for beer to
freeze (I don’t think any beer actually froze, but I like that metric), so was
pack.
Trail Maldives:
Since we were able to watch the hares lay the first two
checks, we followed trail quiet easy down the stairs and across some road
before turning into another college-esque building before some more “light”
shiggy, more street crossing and housing projects. I was generally confused as
to what area of the city we were in until we immerged from behind a building to
a crossing over Columbia again, and a bridge over the rail tracks in the
distance. In front of the bridge, though, there were a group of hashers milling
about looking in trash cans, kicking bushes, and looking in trees. They were
confused because they saw an “SC” mark, which we finally decided meant “Song
Check” not “Shot Check” so we sang about how much we love our girls, before
taking off across the bridge, only to be stopped by a tit check. Released by
the lovely Po-po (who I think also flashed a security guard), we ran through
some parking lots then through the Northeastern dorms. This weekend was the
Northeastern Res Hall Fare, since there were chalk drawings of cartoons and
arrows promising a great time. We edited these to indicate the Hash was more
fun than the Res Hall Fare, plus tit checks. Running through Northeastern can
really only yield one result, so no one was surpised when we ended up crossing
over the original trail which had been marked out and label “ONIN” at Punters.
ONIN:
After congratulating themselves on running an amazing B to A
trail, the beer started flowing and circled started going. The hares were
called in and we told them to use more flour and chalk, while they brought
Whack A Hole in to be allouetted (was she a real good sport, yes she was a real
good sport). FRBs and FBIs were called in; I’m calling them Five Inch and Whack
a Hole, as were DFLs (some of whom had not made it to the ONIN when DFLs were
called), so Cum Ear drank for them. The virgin was then called in and assumed
the position as he was demented by Cum Ear and Falmon. He sucked a math, I
forgot what question Twat asked, likes to make cows cum, and had no idea what a
dollar menu was. Jello showed him how to do a down-down, and while he was by no
means worthy, we’ll take him anyway. After that Douche showed up (note: we did chant
Douchesquatch 3 times right before he walked in), so he drank for being the
real DFL. Backsliders, bald guys and former GMs drank, anyone not wearing hash
attire drank, blood on trail and alcohol abuse drank. STD showed up, so he
drank for being a vistor and a sweat test failure. The Bud Light switched to
IPA at some point and circle began to disintegrate as the smell of pizza wafted
in from across the room. Announcements are at the end of the trash, but we
swang low and stuffed our faces with vaguely pizza-like food things. Blubber
showed up about 30 minutes after we swang low so he could maintain his “no
trails when there’s snow on the ground.” Or, to quote him directly “I’m a
summer RA.”
On – travel hash to the tropics next year? – On
-Wikipedophilia
Announcements:
Tonight: TACO trail, somewhere? I don’t have a taco, so I
don’t care. It’s on the website, FB group, somewhere.
Tomorrow: Januarary Moon Trail; starting at the Tam at 6:30
HST. Hares are Jello, Popo and Cockring. It’s goth themed, so bring your
eyeliner, angst, life-is-pain, nihilist, pleather, and cranium covers.
Saturday: Might be a ball-buster?
Sunday (1/18): nth-Annal Furry Hash, starting at 7s Ale
House 2:30HST. Hares are Wikipedophilia and Udder Whore. Wear your furries!!!
Saturday (1/24): Poof in Northborough.
Sunday (1/25): Robbie Burns with Yellow Dick Gnome and Nice
Tits. Scotch, Hagus, you know the deal.
Moon Away: Feb 13-15,
$35, I think? There might be spots left? Rego link is in the FB group.
2/28-3/1: Burlington Mardi Gras (I think?) Harlot’ll spam us
when it gets closer. Beads, glitter, retronome, rage.
April 17th-20: Boston Marathon Weekend. Rego is
currently $69, but goes up to $79 on 2/1. Rego now!
May: NURD
July: Invihash
August: GAP
October: AGM
Novemeber: Saddie
Decemeber: Antibuffet.
January 2016: Tropical Hash XIV
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