What: The Lefty Hash
Where: Brendan Briyan Pub
Who: Dry Hose, Shitonya (guest hare)
Pack:
Yankee Pay $5 More, Visitor/Transplant/Whatever from DC, Visitor From Alamaba, Visitor From Philly, THE 2nd Cumming, Krusty The Meatmiser, Wikipedophilia, Bloody Slip Inside, Orgasmn Falmon, Twat My Mom, Willy Wonka and the Backdoor Factory, Popo Peepshow, Fellowship of the Cock Ring, Sketchy Hoe, Vienna Sausage, Pappy Von Tinkle, Bend Over Mommy, The Butler Hit It, More Justs Than I care to remember, and a Virgin.
Chalk-Talk:
Started with Pappy and I walking around asking if people are Left handed or Right handed, then tapping up their right hand if they were of the weaker disposition, in the mean time people introduced themselves, and said why they were here (beer and tits were the big winners).
Trail Lex:
For some unknown reason, marks started a block away from the bar and ran past chalk talk, before turning right past bag car and left into the glaring sunset then down a hill around a school. We meandered our way down to the emerald necklace and eventually found true trail pointing across the Jamaca Way and into some shiggy. There was a shotcheck by a pond in the park, and by shot check I mean a gallon jug filled with vodka-soaked gummy bears. I have no idea what that has to do with being a lefty, but they were strong a tasty. After staying there for way too long – pack was weary of such powerful treats – we found a check at the corner of the jamacia way and some cross street. Were there any marks between the true trail into the park, the shot check and that last check? Allegdgely the hares said there were “lots of marks” but, you know, hares have been known to lie. After a lot of scouting, we all finally regrouped at a gaint group hug that led us into the nicer areas of JP, and from there trail went, well, up hill (shocking, I know), through JP before coming to a very deceptive BN, followed by an even more deceptive BVN, and a yet even more deceptive BC.
BC #1:
There was beer and an idling Amtrak (or commuter rail, probably Amtrak since those are always delayed), on the tracks which made conversation difficult. There was surprisingly no orange food (but normal nacos, or maybe I didn’t look hard enough?), but plently of cold (actually) PBRs and more attempts at eating the remainder of the gummy bears. The hares ran off in a single puff of flour, and we waited a while before chasing after them.
Trail عسراء
Crossed almost immediately over the train tracks and started the invenitable wind up towards Franklin Hill Park. There was a song check by a school, and some falses (maybe?), and a good deal of darting through traffic, or maybe that was just me. There was a solitary turkey/eagle split, with the eagles vaulting a trash can (I’m pretty sure I saw Vaganicologist) leap it in full stride, to the delight of the onlookers. I remember another hill, maybe, before a BN that was surprisingly accurate.
BC #2:
Was up the road a ways from the (an) enterance to Franklin hills (roughly down the ledge-of-death where we’ve ended trail before). There was beer, but no orange food or water.
Trail левша
Apparently there was another leg of trail, so we all grabbed road sodas and walked around the standium to the bear cages.
ONIN:
Those of us who smartly grabbed road sodas for the walk we immediately described as “geniouses” as we beat the beer to the ONIN by a good (at least 10 minutes)(it could have been 5, I was drunk). Depression and desperation set in as time ticketed by and we were getting soberer and soberer until finally the beer, bags, and food arrived. Circle was quickly formed and here’s what might have happened in it:
CIRCLE:
The hares were called in and comments were had on trail – some liked it, some loved it, some hated it, some didn’t remember it, all in all, it was a trail. Most people, however, agreeded that the hares should have used more flour and chalk, so we told them this in the form of a song. Shitonya then sang to us, though I have no recollection of what, and we kicked them out. Next in were the visitors (see above). They introduced themselves to us, then Shitonya sang us about her hot, wet, sore, bald pussy cat. Next up were backsliders, there were no “epic” backsliders this week, just your standard, run of the mill, “My life is more important than hashing” crowd. Speaking of getting a life, we then called in Analverseries and someone (either Mommy or Sketchy or Bouys, I forget) has been hashing for 10 years! And when one ex-GM drinks, all ex-GMs drink, so we told them to Get A Life! Now, at this point (actually it happened earlier but I liked narrative flow better), there was one person who was extremely confused as to what was going on, so the Virgin was brought into the circle. His Just sponsored him and he didn’t know what a Dollar Menu was, he’d help his uncle jack off a horse, he liked the taste of his first blow job, and he’s back-country poweder down there – no one knew what that last one meant. Anyway, we didn’t find him acceptable, but we’ll allow him back. From there it went to accusations. I accused Krusty of talking a passing biker (a just from some other kennel who had just moved here) into joining us. When she was in circle, though, she said “No, I saw the man in the kilt and gaint coat first!” so your humble narrator was called in as well. 2nd then led us in a rousing rendition of “great big swinging tits” which caused my arms to hurt, somehow. Not sure if there were any more accusations, but the pizza was cold so we did announcements (see below) then swang low.
On – Bear Cages – On
-Wikipedophilia
PS: As I was arriving at the OnAfter (Coco’s Lunge) a patron was being led away in a stretcher by EMTs because he had fallen off his bar stool and cracked his head on the floor. This phased not the other patrons, nor the bartender, as we continued to drink into un godly like hours of the night.
Announcments:
This weekend: GAP
Next Wednesday: Sex the Final Frontier – details to cum.
8/24: Mismagamment meeting – Help us run this sh*t for another year!
8/26: Blondie and Marblelous Asshole – Rumors are that there’ll be a slip-and-slide on trail?
8/25: Poof in Cape Code
September 12th: Poof in RI
September 19th: Buffet (Happy Valley Camp out)
September 26: New England Red Dress in Worcester.
October 3rd: AGM
December 10-12: ANTI-BUFFET
Decemeber 17-19: Boston Invasion of Chicago
Feburary: Moon away
April 18th: Boston Marathon Main Event
May: NURD
July: Boston Invasion of Danish Nash Hash
July: Invihash
Now – go back to work! Or, if you’re lucky, get a beer, then go back to work!
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