Tuesday, November 12, 2019

No Nuts November

Date: November 10, 2019
Theme: No Nuts November
Hares: Testicular Mechanics, Cum Back Queen (formerly Just Elia)
Bag Car: Just Haig (in the ONONRU mobile)
Pack: Bottom Wrangler, Do Me Decimal, Dribbles, For the Love of God Finish, Friar Fuck, Full Frontal Fireball, Holy Dumpster Fire, Orgasm Famine, Pop Cum Ear I’m Infected, Quarter Mile Queer, Shart of Darkness, Shits and Ladders, Sketchy Ho, Spunk in the Trunk, The Buttler Hit It, Topless Barbie, Twat My Mom, Virgin Elizabeth
Prelube: Paddy’s Lunch
SC: Behind the Center for Astrophysics
BC1: Riverbend Park
BC2: Fresh Pond Reservation (near Kingsley Park)
On-in: Danehy Park
Trail: Pack convened at Paddy’s Lunch, which had more than one hasher wondering if this was an A-A’ trail ending at Danehy Park. The hounds departed, came across 3 CB5s, one of which was by the residence of a Presidential candidate, had a shot check of nuts and no nuts beverages, continued on before finding 2 more CB5s, then a beer check by the Charles River. Trail craniumed north where it overlapped with Friday’s Moon Trail, stopped a beer check where the BMH3 had its on-in, then emerged from the Fresh Pond Reservation. There was a BVC across a four-lane road which pointed at a false, except nobody saw it, so a few of us just trusted our instincts and meandered toward Danehy Park where we picked up trail near a car dealership. Shortly thereafter we found the hares staking out a spot for us at the top of the hill in Danehy Park.
Circle: Do Me led her first circle in 2.5 years and quickly got to business. Our FRB was Shits, while Spunk was the FBI. Buttler was the DFL as he went straight back to Paddy’s. Shart demented Virgin Elizabeth, where she revealed that she was from Reno, was sponsored by FFF, is a backwoods skier, doesn’t know the square root of -69 (I Ate Something), and likes her Oreos double stuffed.
Naming: Next in circle was the naming of Just Elia. Do Me tried to abdicate her RA responsibilities to “Ass Cowboy” who turned down the opportunity to lead a naming, so QMQ jumped in to help. We learned that Just Elia wanted to yeet nuts from the Harvard Bridge, talked about a Kat and a (Damn It) Janet, has cat ears and a cat tail, and left the hash for a little bit, but came back. Naming suggestions included Yeets Nuts, Damn It Janet, Cum Back Queen, and Cat Loves Pussy. Of the four nominations, Cum Back Queen grabbed the most votes, therefore Just Elia will always be known at this hash and at all others as Cum Back Queen.
Accusations: Continuing the accusations, Shart accused the hares of their BVC trickery, For the Love of God Finish falsely accused Daylights Savings Time of it being dark at 6 p.m. (we’re back in Standard Time), Just Haig was accused of getting a $100 bill from his “gay gun,” Sketchy and Buttler for latecomers, Buttler for watching porn of his parents with his parents, and the hares for overlaying trail on the Moon trail. I don’t recall the accusation, but For the Love of God Finish told us some story about dry ice under a bridge on Boston Common. Then Do Me was given an honor down-down for 500 days of sobriety.
Announcements: As for announcements, the Northboro H3 Red Dress Run is next Saturday, as is the Ballbuster Goes West trail. The Buttler Trail Series continues next Sunday with virgin Boston territory. QMQ is having Chinese food (sushi actually) for Christmas, and For the Love of God Finish is moving to Vermont. Oh and around this time, Spank Me May I Have My Mother showed up.
That’s it for this hash trash. Thanks to our Veterans on this holiday. Now to go back to counting down the minutes until I can start streaming The Mandalorian.
Twat My Mom

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