Swedish Midsummer Trail v5.0
Hare: Swedish Eagle
Bag Car: C*ntcussion
Pack: Blondie McF*cksalot, Body in Lotion, Edward Sissyhands, Extra Terresticle, Fellowship of the Cockring, Goat Throat, Just Harry, Luva Lamp, Marbellous Asshole, No Man on the Moon, O'Boner, Po Po Peepshow, Sex the Final Frontier, Silence of the Skin Flute, Sketchy Ho, Strap On Strap Off, Testicular Mechanics, The Buttler Hit It, The Second Cumming, Wikipedophilia
Pre-lube: Pizzeria Regina at Station Landing
Shot Check: Train tracks behind the August A. Busch plant
Beer Check: Morrison Park
On-In: Fellsmere Pond
To mark the Swedish Midsummer, forget the aquavit, the poles, the hopping like frogs, the cinnamon buns, or the picking herring, our hare gave us a little bit of Thor (lightning and thunder), mixed with a touch of Loki (mischief and chaos, or what we in Boston like to say, a shiggy trail). He took us over train tracks through greenery like the branches of Yggdrasil. Treated us to an aquavit that I really enjoyed. Led us to a beer check where we witnessed a glorious lightning show. Then like a Norse god, he had an epic hash crash that slashed up his arm, and he still finished laying the trail! A trip to urgent care and 14 stitches later and he now has his own lightning shaped scar to show for it.
I didn't catch too much of what happened. I went into the last bit of shiggy with Just Harry and Body in Lotion and we managed to find a check in flour by a fence that was bent over. I crawled across the fence only to find a large parking lot with a police car circling it. Figuring that was not a direction I wanted to continue in, we walked out of the woods and started zenning around the park before we found trail again. That might have been around the place where Sweagle had his hash crash. Allegedly, he bloodied himself up, then laid trail to the on-in where there were two Malden PD cruisers already on the scene breaking up a gang of teens who were lighting fireworks. After presenting ourselves as an innocent running club, Sweagle asked the cops if they had any gauze, so they stuck around and helped bandage him up. They drove off and we circled up.
In circle, I didn't catch the comments, but Sweagle led about two-thirds of the pack over to a trio of tall flag poles where he demonstrated the hoppity hop dance and got everyone over there to join along. It was only two-thirds of the pack because there was still an active lightning storm overhead and those flag poles were about 50 feet tall. O'Boner drank for her birthday; Second Cumming, No Man, and Sketchy were FRB, FBI, and DFL in some order; Silence of the Skin Flute, Blondie, Sex the Final Frontier, Second Cumming, and Strap On all drank for backsliding, and we had no virgins so it was on to accusations.
Blondie kicked things off by accusing Wiki of being Wiki, which our RA deemed false, so Blondie drank. Sweagle drank for a hash crash so bad he needed help from the local 5-0. Wiki accused everyone who didn't get yelled at by the cops, which was basically the part of pack that lingered on the second leg of trail to watch the fireworks at Trum Field. Then O'Boner accused everyone who got hit by stinging nettles. Around this time, like Heimdall swooping the Marvel heroes away with the Bifrost, my transportation arrived, so I missed the rest of circle, but if you have announcements, throw them below in the comments.
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