Attack of the Ginger Kids

Hello hashers. This was the second part of the GAP trail marathon. The theme was the Ginger Kids, though only one hasher (Bouys) dressed up. Here's the info.

Name/Theme: Attack of the Ginger KidsHares: GAP (of course) and Fire in the Hole.
Bag Car: Spunk in the Trunk.
Start: Razzy's (585 Sommerville Ave, Sommerville MA)
Rum Check (Eagles only): somewhere on the train tracks?
Beer Check: The stone tower near Powderhouse Circle.
On-in: The Sligo (Davis Square Sommerville)

The Pack
3's Company, Better Late than Pregnant, Cum is Kosher (latecummer), Harpoontang (latecummer), Friar F*ck (Scribe), Hare club for Queers, HEADmaster, Hoover Mc Suck n F*ck, Legally Bound and Gagged, Necrophiliac Jack, Nice Tits, Nipples Erectus, Peppermint PUssy, Stick it to the Bros, Sugar Plum Fairy, Taj my Hole, You outhta Blow, Virgin Christine, Virgin Melissa, Virgin Megan, Virgin Sara, Virgin Scott, Virgin Lance, Virgin Bala, Virgin Erin, Virgin Pascal, Virgin Martha, Just Nicole, Catheter the Great, Goes Down Syndrome, Wwofie (visitor), Lizzardo (St Louis H3), Just Paula, Snatchsquatch, Velvet Pelvis, Jolly Green Vagine, Goes Down on Bouys, Bleeps Sweeps and Creeps, Menopussy, The Second Cumming, Grease my Monkeys Nuts, Floppy, BBB, Sketoha(?), Thet Tue Mauz(?), Just Megan, Return to Grenda, Shawshank, Target, Spits, Just Heather, Just Mike => Certified Public An*s.., Sinky D, Assume the Position, and probably many others who said their names faster than I could write or check them off.

At the start
Even though I spent my day hanging out by the river, I still managed to be almost late at Razzy's. Here Bouys (dressed as a Raggedy Ann doll) was busy putting freckles on anyone who wanted them. I had prepared a cheat sheet with hash names (taken from the few published hash trashes) and was busy trying to check off the people I recognize by sight (not many). Wwoffie found me. I'm the only person he remembers from a Burlington Invihash and we talked for a while. I had time for a beer and it was time to circle.

Circle Up
We had an enormous number of virgins, more virgins than bananas, so I guess some of them had to share. Trail was to have the usual markings, and a turkey / eagle split. What wasn't explained was that the eagle had an extra rum check. Next came the hard part (for the scribe) "Dictation exercise: write down as many hash names as possible in the 30 seconds provided". Hopefully I did OK. Then we were off..

The Trail
Trail headed up hill in true GAP style. The first landmark of note was a circular house, looking very abandoned and boarded up. "I live down the street, and I've never seen this before". Hashing is a great way to see a city, or even your own neighborhood. Trail then headed out towards Broadway, over the tracks, and from there it was anyones guess. Then we came to the Turkey Eagle Split.

Most people did the eagle, but all I could see was the back of the pack, and most of them did turkey. As usual I got separated from the pack, and then my phone rang with a vaguely work-related call (I.E. someone with a job lead). It's hard to talk intelligently while wandering around aimlessly desperately looking for chalk marks. I wandered on and off trail, guessing the beer check to be in the direction I was going (towards Tufts). Luckily I stumbled onto a mark. There was a small crowd at the Powderhouse Tower. I assumed that as usual I had almost missed the beer check and people were packing up to go. Instead I found that this was the turkeys - we were still waiting for the eagles. Fire in the hole came in, wondering where the rest of the pack was. The cooler was full of beer - usually it's empty when I get to the beer check.

Eventually the eagles came in, and Hareclub told me a little about the trail. "It was on the tracks, and there was a train coming while we were on the tracks". There was a rum check on the tracks. It was now very late and dark.

The On-In and Circle
There was a very short trail to the on-in - which turned out to be the Sligo Pub. We all attempted to fit in the back room, which was like trying to get on the T during rush hour. Food was Mac and Cheese, all very plentiful and filling. After a short while, with beer slowly trickling in from the bar, Velvet Pelvis (who was acting RA) called the hash to circle. A true circle was not actually possible, but the hashers simply backed away from the center of the floor as if avoiding a bad smell. Virgin Melissa had ripped her pants, and this was one of the first orders of show-and-tell. I'm trying to make sense of my notes, and you're guess is as good as mine.

Comments on the run
Fria, No real pelee the filtyy. Only blue holder is a carnival. Not enough trains. Trail of the year (Stinky D). Shitty trail The hares sang a few verses of "Gang Bang" and were off.

Virgins
Virgin Christine - brought by Just Nicole
Virgin Bala - brought by Shorn
Virgin Martha - brought by Stinky D
Virgin Pascal - brought by Shorn
Virgin Eric - brought by Stinky D
Virgin Megan - brought by herself
Virgin Melissa - brought by Dude Where's my Virginity
The virgins brought by Stinky D were required to fake a gang-bang.

Visitors
Wwohoo gave us the following ditty (to the tune of Sex is Boring).
Each line is repeated by the pack.
We've got virgins
We've got virgins
At the hash
At the hash
Gonna get em f*cked up
Gonna get em f*cked up
in the a*s
in the a*s

Late Cummers
Kosher (who is on both feet now) and Harpoontang were called in as late cummers.

Other accusations
Same Shirts (many)
Shorn Scrotum - Male lover - vacigh belhammer (OK - that's what my notes say)
Someone was accused of bad directions to the hashers.

Naming
Just Mike who has been on 21 runs needed a name. He was sent over to the main bar while we got suggestions and debated a name. We eventually settled on Certified Public A*us (short for CPR).

The circle closed with Swing Low - a little awkward for people crammed into booths or pressed against the wall. Since I had taken the train from Lowell, and I seriously didn't expect circle to go on for this long, I needed to leave at slightly after 10. When I left, JGV was talking to the crazy French woman at the bar, and you can read all about it in the humor list. I stopped off at Sullivans Tap for one last beer, and caught the last train of the day (actually the first train of the next day) back to Lowell.

-Friar