The Pajama Hash

"If only you're legs were spread as wide as your marks, and your crotch was as warm as your beer" -Headmaster

I really can't do any better than that for a description of the run, but there are certain conventions to be followed when scribing, so here goes.

Theme: Pajama run (everyone wear pj's)
Hares: Target Practice, Shawsk*nk
When: Wednesday, June 3rd, 6:30 HST
Where: 973 Commonwealth (used to be T's).
Promises: Beer and pajama-appropriate mixed drink alternatives (I.E.
warm cheap beer)
Scribe: Friar Fuck

Beer Check 1: Some park in Brookline which wasn't shown on the walkers map.
Beer Check 2: The rose garden in the fens across the river from the Museum of Fine Arts
On In: Parking garage near Ruggles T station
On after: Punters Pub (where else)

Pack: An Inconvenient Poop, Beat by a Girl, Lunchmeat, Better late than Pregnant, Bisexal Bondage Bitch, Crucifux, Catheter the Great, General Ass Pounder, Goes down on Bouys, Goes down syndrome, Hare club for Queers, Friar F*ck, Headmaster, I eat Tea Bags, Jamaican me Cum, Jolly Green Vagine (arrived after run), Just Kristen => Vagitarian, Dirty litte Sanches, Just Elle, Gay Pride, Shorn Scrotum, Just Doug, Fck her in the A*s, Dude wheres my Virginity, Scrambled Porn, Spits, Necrophiliac Jack, wooden eye, Pat my Fly, Peppermint P*ssy, SATRAC, Sugar Plum Fairy, Super Teflon Dong, Taj my Hole, Virgin Ted, Virgin Ryan, Virgin Kara, Virgin Andy, Virgin Sophie, Virgin Melissa, Virgin Becky, Virgin Jack, Virgin Niomi (arrived after run), and many others whose names I didn't catch. There were about 46 hashers at the on-in.

People took the PJ theme seriously, and as I was getting out of my car, I met a young woman wearing space PJs who had arrived the same time I had (I didn't catch your name - sorry). The bar was full of PJ clad folks, including some men (Super Teflon Dong and I eat Tea Bags) who were wearing night dresses. If you felt funny walking around in PJs, imagine how they felt. Anyway the bar was spacious, PBR tall cans were $2.50, and the pack showed very little desire to leave (except for space PJs who felt hot). Finally it was time to call Bag Car and Circle. This was a ways up the road - past racks and racks of clothes. Circles on the sidewalk (even the wide sidewalks here) are a bit inconvenient - bemused passers by constantly had to be let through. Anyway the hares explained the marks, the virgins were lined up in the center, and everybody says their names faster than I can write. The walkers (I.E. Friar and Pat my Fly) were given maps. I'd normally tag along (unless the hares promised water crossings) but I need to talk to PMF.

Following a map is relatively easy, and we'd see hashers darting in and out. Occasionally we'd find a mark or two. It was getting dark.We were heading to the fenway area, towards the museum, where there was supposedly a beer check. There were no marks. Me and PMF explored every path in the area. I suggested that the beer check must be in the Victory Gardens, where it always is and we headed vaguely in that direction. I called the hotline "some park in brookline" That's miles away! Wait - people running with bags - THE HARES. We had gotten in front of the hares by bypassing a beer check. It was fairly easy to follow the trail - while on pavement. It was growing dark, and for a while I was following sounds. We arrived at the beer check which was in the rose garden. It was a beer check in name only - there was no beer. What to do? Mill about. STD and Tea bags disappeared in to the bushes... and came back holding long cat-tail reeds. There were several games that can be played with reeds - limbo, sword fight, and reaching into the crowd and tickling people with the heads of the cat-tails. The warm beer finally arrived - I personally don't mind warm good beer. In fact I've been on winter hashes where a warm cheap beer is most welcome as a hand-warmer. Here it was a little less welcome, but it's what we had. Preggers is still looking for people to join the trip to Scotland, which is sounding like a trust-me hash. If I wasn't living a trust-me life right now I'd be interested. Anyway - the police showed up. We're getting good at this. Drop the beer (in the box), and without making any sudden movements drift away. Luckily someone explained that we were a running club taking a break. Anyway it was the end of the beer check. Back to the map.

I'd been to the parking garage near Ruggles before for an on-in, so I immediately knew where to go. PMF assumed that every hash ended at a bar. It's good to have on-ins not at bars as it adds variety to trails, but we're running out of new parks and parking garages too. We took the elevator up. Most hashers will push all the buttons to annoy people taking the elevator, but nobody bothered to do this. We were on the roof deck, and the view was spectacular. I took several pictures. Hashers were rolling up in waves .. and there was no beer. There were people driving away from the parking lot, all of them seem to be having long cell phone conversations when they got to their car. Presumably they were calling security. Finally the bag car came up, and hashers swarmed the bag car like star-struck teenagers swarming around the Beatles limo. There were two 30 packs in the car. In about 1 minute there was one thirty pack in the car. Nothing to do but CIRCLE UP!

We circled up under the roof, and the acoustics were worse than in theold Boston Garden. Sorry if I didn't catch everything. Crucifux was our RA.

Comments on trail: "Too many cops", "too few marks", "if only you're legs were spread as wide as your marks, and your crotch was as warm as your beer", etc. The hares sang "Follow the Hares" (My girlfriend/boyfriends a ...). We then demented the Virgins:

Virgin Ryan was brought by GAP
Virgin Kara was brought by Jamaican me Cum
Virgin Andy made himself cum but Friar was his sponsor. His favorite animal is a pig.
Virgin Sophie was brought by Lunchmeat
Virgin Melissa
Virgin Becky
Virgin Ted was brought by Just Sara
Virgin Jack made himself cum (second time)
Virgin Naiomi(sp?) showed up late and got a down-down.

The sponsors did demo downdowns and then the virgins did downdowns. At this point, a man in a blue shirt and tiedown-weave blue tie came out. The only men who wear that sort of tie are store managers and security guards. Either way, we needed to wind things down. Tiedown- weave stayed around for the entire rest of circle. He even didn't seem to mind (or didn't notice) the beer poured into cups. It was time for announcements and swing low.

Friar took the now empty 30 pack box and wore it as a hat. I could see everything except what was directly in front of me. This was fine for the elevator, but a bit of a hazard on the road.

The on-after was at Punters. Hash-cash paid for a number of bucket sized pitchers, and we had the supermarket donuts and bagel store bagels we were supposed to have at the on-in. One of the patrons asked me how many cents were in a dime. A glom* formed around Virgin Naiomi. Eventually we got pizza. By the time the pizza arrived it was very late - almost midnight. I lost my pen at some point, so that's the end of my notes. I really don't understand how working folks manage to do Wednesday hashes and go to work the next day. I ended up taking the (possibly last) T to Allston Village with GAP and Peppermint, and back-tracking to T Anthonys to get some coffee. I got a lot of favorable comments on my outfit.