Hares: I Licked Butts (virgin lay) & Beat by a Girl (hash drunk, 2008-2009)
Scribe: Friar Fuck
Bag Car: Stretched P*ssy & I Eat Teabags
Pre-lube make-up artist extraordinaire: Jamaican me 'cum
Promises: There will be all things ZOMBIE such as...lots of ICE-COLD sh*tty beer...tight, short trail with 3 (that's right, i say three) beer checks (w/ZOMBIE snacks)...very light shiggy (about 2 on the scale; no fence jumping)...outdoor circle (w/delicious ZOMBIE food)...very awesome ON-AFTER ZOMBIE hang out
Finally the truth can be told...
Beer check 1: in Forest Hills Cemetery by some sort of spirit catcher thing.
Beer check 2: in Forest Hills Cemetery by a set of pigeon holes.
Beer check 3: who knows?
On-In: A roofless hall-like structure in Franklin Park
The Pack: This time I tried an experiment for taking attendance - I started to pass my list around so people could check their names off. Spunk took the list and walked around checking people off, but people took off before she got to everyone. If you were standing to my left, see me after class.
Crucifux (RA), Drippy Spigot, Dribbles, Dirty little Sanchez, Friar F*ck, Gay Pride, GAP (didn't he leave already), Goes down on Bouys, Goes down Syndrome, High An*s, Hoover mc Suck n F*ck, I eat cum, I eat Tea Bags, Jamaican me Cum, Jizz Mopper, Just Ellie, Just Meg, Just Tom, Las Laa, Necrophiliac Jack, Nice Tits, Pat my Fly, Peppermint P*ssy, Placentos the Fresh Maker, SATRAC, Shorn Scrotum, Stinky D, Spunk in the Trunk, Stick it to the Bros, Sugar Plum Fairy, Super Teflon Dong, Sketchy Ho, Vagatarian, Time of the Munch, Just Bert, Virgin Ellen, Virgin Ryan, Virgin Melissa, Virgin Kelly, Spoonfull of Semin. Just Dave.
I arrived (running late as usual) just around 7pm, and the hares were in no hurry to leave. People were getting drizzled with strawberry syrup, and having "one more beer". So much for HARES AWAY AT 7.
Eventually we did circle up. With barely enough time to take attendance and introduce the virgins, we were off! I was with the Walkers, so we had a somewhat direct route. It didn't take long to get to a big iron gate and we were now in Forest Hills Cemetery. The map was not very helpful at this point, so we followed trail or rather followed all the noise as the pack found trail. There were quite a few circle jerks, clambering up banks, etc and eventually we got to the first beer check.
Forest Hills has a lot of quirky art installations, and the beer check was next to some sort of canopy made of wire mesh. This was conveniently hidden in the trees. The trail meandered through the park after this, and we got to the second beercheck near a sunken maze with a set of cubby holes at the end. The sun was setting and it was getting late. The rest of the trail meandered through the park, but we saw green lights on the road. Park security was following us around, and it was time for a little haphazard running. I actually didn't see the cop cars, but we did meet two guys walking dogs who told us that we were probably locked in and should look for a hole in the fence by the side of the park. For a few us, trail basically ended at that point. One hasher (just Dave) got a ride to the entrance in the back of a security car. The hash is not really welcome in Forest Hills.
We made our way to the side of the park. A woman in a house outside the park directed us to the hole in the fence (it is a local landmark) and we were soon on the other side of the cemetery - on some unknown street with no marks in sight. Here's where the great comedy of errors started to happen. We were well equipped - a map, several cell phones, even a GPS unit. Here's what happened:
- The person with the map wandered off. Now we had no clue where were were going.
- I got a call - one of those really helpful hash calls "You know that bridge near the hospital - well you go under it and then cut through the woods and we're right there...". That could be pretty much anywhere.
- Someone started laying pack marks, so now we were always on trail.
- We somehow got back to JJ Foleys. I needed to pee so this was a welcome stop. I contemplated buying a round, but felt that this might be seen as a misuse of state funds. Besides when I came out, everyone had left.
- I followed the pack marks, and I found what was left of the pack looking at the GPS trying to figure out where to go.
- As we're standing in the street, the bag car goes past to get pizza. We get another map. We're in Franklin Park. Now the directions make sense.
- Since there are two ways to Franklin Park on foot (I always thought it was some distance away and one got there by T), we almost split up. Luckily we stay together.
- By now it's pitch black. I have my tiny keychain light. Spoonful of Semen is trying to lead us in, but we spend a lot of time looking for each other.
Finally we get to a large open-air hall which is the on-in. It's a bit spooky, and circle is already under way. I missed "comments on the run" and can only imagine what some of them were.
- Just Melissa - NEW SHOES
- Drippy spigot - BACKSLIDER
- Gap / Stick it to the Bros - Late Nite Adventures in Foxboro. Gap ended up in JAIL.
- Laa Laa - VISITOR
- STD - REAL BLOOD ON TRAIL
- (someone) - FELL GOING DOWN STAIRS (I have a picture of her recovery "dismount" pose, but it's too blurry to identify).
- Just Dave - GOT A RIDE IN A COP CAR
- Virgins: Virgin Melissa brought by Stretch, Virgin Kelly brought by Second Cumming, Virgin Ellen brought by I like Butts, Virgin Ryan brought by Just Megan
There was pizza, beer, a great view of Franklin Park from the windows. When the beer was gone, we started to drift away. For those on the MisManagement list, this trail started a great discussion. I think that this may be the trail that gets nominated for both Best and Worst Trail of the Year.
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