When writing hash trashes, I usually attend the hash and then wait until I had a few spare minutes at work to write the hash trash over the next few days. Clearly that hasn't been working so well, so instead I wrote most of this hash trash immediately post-hash while I still had a strong PBR buzz going. Sorry in advance.
SO. What was this hash? The "runners-who-drink" hash. (Like the Boy Who Lived? Because it's Harry Potter's birthday? Get it???)
Who hared it? GAYWOL and F*cksie McBlondsalot (excuse me, Blondsie McF*cksalot) (wait, is that still her name?).
Who was there? Good question. Ummm... Wikipedophilia, Easy as 123, Krusty the Meat Miser, Goat Throat, Fellowship of the Cock Ring, the person formerly known as Just Holly, Snap Off, Orgasm Famine, Delta Phile, Coonass, Post-Nasal Jizz, CPA, Buttler, a couple visitors, a bunch of virgins, and many others who I am forgetting. Erm...
Ok, sorry friends, I just took a break to send some mildly aggressive OK Cupid messages but now I'm back. Let's talk about trail.
TRAIL
It started at Cityside. The people there seemed only mildly surprised to be surrounded by hashers. In particular, I noticed some sideways glances tossed toward my Columbia University New Traditional hash shirt, which was weird. I'm not sure why enjoying CUNT would be frowned upon.
Anyway, the bag car was a Mazda Miata. I didn't understand why that was funny until I saw the Mazda Miata. However, in true Harry Potter-like fashion, we managed to fit all the bags in that tiny trunk (amazing what fits in the rear end, eh?) and trail was off.
As the (drunk) RA had mentioned, the hares had, between them, one trail of experience. That said, things went pretty well. We started off down Beacon Street before venturing into some of the Brookline neighborhoods. (You can tell I live in this area because I actually know where we were.) They took us halfway up the hill at Summit but, thankfully, not all the way. (though half the hill was enough, particularly given the song check at the top.)
The first beer check was in a random back yard. I should specify that it was random to us - apparently (ostensibly) Blondie and GAYWOL knew the residents of that house. They seemed somewhat bemused by the kilted, drunk, obscene runners in their backyard, but otherwise tolerated us and our orange food very well.
From there, we made our way back to Comm Ave (seriously, look at these locational details), where the hash proceeded to get very confused. For neither the first nor the last time. Snap Off, Orgasm Famine and I somehow found ourselves far ahead of pack. We made it first to the shot check and promptly got a head start on drinking Fireball.
After the shot check, pack proceeded to get very very confused. At Comm Ave & Harvard we lemminged hardcore - everyone crossed the street, wandered around aimlessly for a bit, and then crossed the street back again. After that false alarm, we crossed back to Brighton Ave before finally making our way back down to THE SIL.
CIRCLE
Let's see. There was beer, and popcorn. Our RA, Krusty, continued to be very drunk. We had 5 virgins whom we promptly deflowered. Visitors sang us a song, and we sang them a song. We ate cookies courtesy of Orgasm Famine. We made fun of the Mazda Miata situation some more. Accusations were made, down-downs were performed. I legitimately don't remember what else happened, which means it wasn't important!
So, let's see. Announcements:
Trails! So many trails coming up! Next week I will reprise my role as blackout-drunk hare in Revere. GAP is in a few weeks! AGM is... sometime. Maybe. I don't know, check the calendar. Aaaand that's it.
Love,
your erstwhile scribe
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