Tora! Tora! Tora! Hash
Hares: Wiki and Sex the Final Frontier
Pack: Virgin Mary, Just Bryan, Just Mohamed, Just Jeff, Just Swiss Girl who’s name I forget, CPA, Knome, Orgasm Famine, Better late than Pregnant, Five Inch Penalty, Transplant who was at ballbuster this week, Others I am forgetting
Bag Car: Friar
RA’s: Easy to Please, Goat Throat
Those of us who chose to hash on this beautiful Sunday gathered at Stoddard’s Fine Food & Ale to enjoy a beer before trail. That being said I don’t think I have ever seen so many glasses of water at a prelube. Those of us who had embraced the spirit of the pub crawl at Ballbuster on Saturday were perhaps a little worse for ware and I for one will admit to double fisting coffee and water instead of beer. The hares were gay remarkably close to on time and once we had sufficiently ingratiated ourselves with the classy patrons of the establishment the rest of us trooped out into the cold.
Goat led us through a speedy chalk talk where we explained to Virgin Mary (yes that actually is her name) how to follow the marks to the beer. Once she was sufficiently horrified/ confused we ran off to find trail and ended up rather quickly lost in the Boston Commons. I guess we missed a check back but eventually trail was located and we made our way to the corner of the Boston Garden near Arlington. Trail brought us through the T station and back up onto the opposite side of the street to a check with about 4 arrows leading off in various directions. We checked what felt like every direction before someone realized we should have just continued straight. A check back 3(?) caused us to briefly lose trail once again before five inch led us across a bridge deeper into back bay. A shot check was remarkably well marked for a Wiki trail and we paused to drink a remarkably palatable blue Gatorade and coconut rum concoction and a rather noxious yellow Gatorade and vodka potion. Both bottles were liberally decorated with glitter that looked remarkably similar in size and consistency to what I got covered in at Space Unicorn.
We continued on to numerous group hug checks, song checks, and normal checks. I dubbed the bridge near Broadway 2 dick check bridge due to its surprising 2 back to back dick checks with nary a tit check in sight. The showings on the bridge garnered at least 2 exclamations of surprise from a just and the Virgin and a honk from a passing car. We navigated across all the lanes of traffic near Broadway without incident and ran down in front of the Gillette factory where we found beer near! The beer check was on some body of water, which was nice, but rather cold and windy. We started drinking, huddled for warmth, and CPA pulled out a brilliant knit beer glove/ coozy thing to allow Easy to Please to drink without freezing her hand off. The proper amount of time after the hares were gay Knome shooed us all off in pursuit. We followed the water until trail led us through some large parking lots where we missed yet another check back and milled about for a time before we found marks leading through yet more parking lots and up some stairs to a second glitter covered shot check. We drank and ran back down some stairs and eventually made it to beer check number 2 under the bridge by the barking crab. We drank, took in the sunset, hares left, and we shortly thereafter we followed them across the bridge towards downtown and then down the harbor walk to a song check by a small ice rink near the harbor view hotel. We serenaded the skating families with hashers meet the hashers and ran on as we debated probably on-in locations. Many were convinced the Hong Kong was in our future even though apparently Wiki had flat out stated that we were not headed there. Knome informed me that hares lie so this could not be trusted but this time, to the surprise of us all, truth won out. After a hash sitapeed where we sang dino won’t you blow me (I was rather worried about what would happen when we all tried to jump and thrust in our seated position but it held together surprisingly well), and a third glittery hatorade shot check we found on in marks at Side Bar near Park street.
Pack milled about and watched football as we waited for bag car to arrive and then beer started flowing and circle commenced. We sang to our shitty hares but there were surprisingly few vitriolic comments about trail. Our ex-dementress and current GM madam Knome de-virginized Virgin Mary who drank her down down and was Virgin no more. FRB (Goat) and FBI (Falmon) drank for trying to win the hash. The walkers and bag car were deemed DFL for abandoning the cold trail in favor of the heated bag car. Others drank for racist attire, pointing in circle, being backsliders, blood on trail, and probably other things. Once the food appeared next to circle we wrapped up quickly with hash religion so we could stuff our faces with pizza, fries and chicken tenders. The beer flowed on for a time as we watched both American and European football. CPA declared Whitey’s the on-after so some die hard hashers partied on but alas not I.
On-On
-Orgasm Famine
Announcements:
Taco Trail Monday 12/7
Moon Thursday 12/18
Hashmas 12/20
Marathon Rego soon
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