11/30 Love Stinks hash

LOVE STINKS/American Rules Handegg/Dirty 30 hash

Hares: Goat Throat, Just Liza, Just Andrew? (Sorry am bad with names)

Bag Car: Bend Over Mommy

Pack: +2 Coonass, Yellow Dick Knome, Little Slice of Heaven, Sex the Final Frontier, Just Tavish, Luva Lamp, Just Simone, Udder Whore, Yankee, Bloody Slip Inside, Clit Notes, Just Jeff. Notice the sad lack of scribes so I, Orgasm Famine, will be filling in.

Prelube this past beautiful hashy Sunday was at Tits in Porter Square. I started the afternoon off with a beer as virgin hares volunteered to help lay trail with Goat. At some point after Goat and his first volunteer, Virgin Andrew?, were gay we gathered our bags and followed Bend Over Money to the one car in the parking lot with an on-on sticker. Our two RA’s Bloody and Clit Notes led us in an exuberant chalk talk punctuated by Bloody skipping / jumping around the circle to illustrate his points. After explaining a few marks to our visitor/transplant we sped off through the shopping center and towards Harvard Square. On a side note the speed of pack did not abate all day. We really all deserved to drink for trying to win the hash. We ran up and down some streets, through a side-yard or two, and found many checks on man-hole covers. At a hash sittapeede in front of a playground we assumed our seated position and sang to the children about what they would be if it were not for their mothers. At most checks the best way to find trail was when in doubt look for Urban Shiggy and ally ways. There was a tit check and a dick check. Eventually we made our way to Harvard Square and Sang Yogi Bear to any passing Harvard Kids. Soon after, Beer Near was enthusiastically called and we trekked up seemingly endless stairs to the top of the parking Garage by JFK and Eliot Street. There we found Hares, Bag Car, and remarkably not shitty Beer!!! As hashers wandered around and marveled over the view of Harvard from above the Virgin hares traded off and Just Liza departed with Goat.

After we followed them down the gazillion stairs we quickly got a bit lost as everyone foolishly followed the front running checkers past the Charles Hotel instead of searching out other options. Eventually we found trail, some true trail marks across streets and a song check. Passers by were serenaded to the theme of Hashers meet the hashers and then we raced on through winding pathways. Thanks to a Turkey Eagle split the Eagles were treated to a thrilling tour of a parking garage. Just as the temperature started to drop we found a Shots Near and located a bottle of fireball. We sipped perhaps too delicately since Luva Lamp ended up taking the leftover with him and offering it around as we ran on. Just Andrew? and I found a check back 5 and backtracked out of the dead end we had been led into. Garages remained a theme when I found a true trail into yet another garage and out a sneaky back door to a dick check. Soon after many of us figured out that we were getting rather close to Paddy’s Lunch. We ran through a park and sang part of a failed song to yet another playground full of children. Bloody then brilliantly evaded a short check back and booked it directly to Paddy’s to claim his title of FRB. 

As we gathered in the back room the Patriots kicked off. (I am still mourning the outcome of that game) Circle started once we procured sufficient beer and we sang to our shitty hares.  Comments on trail were quite friendly. Little Slice of Heaven was called in as a visitor. We need to teach him some songs. FRB (Bloody)  FBI (Yours Truly), and DFL (Yankee) were called into circle. Accusations included anyone who travel-hashed recently, late-comers , over-achievers who ran to trail, lazy people who took the elevator to the first beer check, sweat test failures (Buoys who showed up during circle) and an honor down down to Goat for saving the day by volunteering to hare at the last minute. When one of the locals wandered in to find the bathroom Coonass sang him Glorius Victorius to honor his time in the marines. Coonass also sang a new theme song for Goat. Jorts! Jorts! Jorts! Jorts! Jorts! Jorts! Jorts! Jorts! (hear the rhythm of shots) Eventually we sang an abbreviated version of swing low, pizza arrived, beer continued to flow, and we watched the Pats flounder through the first half until we departed.

-Orgasm Famine

Announcements:

Saturday 12/6 Ball Buster Turducken Hash starting at Publick House 12HST

Sunday 12/7 Wiki’s Birthday Hash starting at Redbones 2:30HST

Marathon Rego will apparently be live soon