256th Annual Robbie Burns Day Trail - Sunday January 25, 2015

Hares: +2 coonass (hare), Dribbles (hare), yellow dick gnome (hare)

Bag Car (aka: haggis car): Sex, The Final Frontier

Start:  Stoddard's, 48 Temple Pl, Boston

Whiskey Check: by the Robbie Burns statue in downtown Boston, of course

Beer Check: crazy as it seems, in the new North End apartment of 2 hares

On-in (this was reportedly a last minute substitution): Biddy Early’s Pub, Boston

Time:  2:30 p.m. HST (pack away around 3:30-ish)
Total Distance:  about 3 miles walking … the rest of the pack ran around a bit more (they beat the walkers to the checks and on-in, so trail was relatively short)

Scribe: Cums Alone
Weather: cold … maybe in the 20s, cloudy

Promises from the hares: some [very] good scotch whiskey, some okay-ish scotch whiskey, scotch eggs, scotch tape, scotch guard, scotch haggis, scotch pizza, scotch H3 markings, and AN ALL NEW NEVER-BEFORE-USED ON-IN!

Hashers Present (if this is off, blame Wiki, he gave me the list): +2 coonass (hare), Dribbles (hare), yellow dick gnome (hare), Sex, The Final Frontier (bag car),Wikipedophilia, ski bobbit, jello wrecked 'em, popo peep show,fellowship of the cock ring, orgasmn falmon, 5 inch penalty, blowbot, twat my mom, willy wonka and the backdoor factory, necropheliac jack, bum fucking vagabond, friar fuck, goes down on buoys, grease my monkey’s nuts, no man on the moon, mudslut, luvalamp, E=Iamdouche, cums alone, krusty the meat miser, easy to please, stuff that reich now (he has a new name Wiki doesn’t remember  … maybe One Dry Hose,  since I have that name written in my notes??), bloody slip inside, velvet pelvis, just bryan (later named foreskin abortion), blondie mc fucksalot, he's gone gaywol, queer and foaming in my anus … and others

Virgin:  Joe or John?? (I have “John”, Wiki has “Joe”, so I’ll alternate)

Late Cummers: none (at least I don’t think so)

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The Start and the Run:

The pack prelubed at Stoddard's and eventually gathered outside.  Krusty and Bloody Slip explained the trail and marks. They said trail was in honor of a wonderful man they know nothing about.  Marks were pretty standard, except for the flying dick check (I have no idea what that was!). There was to be a shot check and a beer check.  I was with the walkers. It was a relatively short distance to the shot check; we arrived after the pack, so their trail must have been pretty reasonable, as well. There were 2 choices of scotch: Johnny Walker Red and some real scotch from (where else?) Scotland.

After the shot check, trail led toward Faneuil Hall.  The hares entrusted the remaining scotch to Virgin John, since he looked to be the most trustworthy (Necropheliac Jack relieved Virgin Joe of the responsibility, and the bottles were passed around among the walkers). We trudged on toward the North End, with the pack passing us once or twice on the way.

The Beer Check was on a side street in the North End, at Yellow Dick Gnome’s and +2 Coonass’ brand new abode … a 4^th floor walk up, that they’d moved into less than a week ago (but you couldn’t tell by looking around).  The pack drank most of the remaining scotch, along with the beer that was provided.

From the beer check in the North End, it was a direct trail to the on-in at Biddy Early’s Pub in the Financial District.

The on in:

Bloody Slip Inside and mudslut?? were co-RAs, with some additional help from Krusty – again needed due to the boisterous pack. Note: Wiki blocked my view of the circle so all of this is sketchy.  The hares were ushered into the circle for the usual abuse.

Comments included: Not enough bananas (there were dozens smashed on the sidewalk around the Robbie Burns statue), Not enough tourists said Wiki had a p*nis on his head, not enough black ice, not enough top floor parties, is the flesh colored chalk made of people?, BS that this is a never before on-in, etc.

The hares recited a Robbie Burns poem of some sort, which no one could understand due to the brogue. They did their down down and were banished from the circle.

Virgin:

Yellow Dick Gnome and Bum F-ing Vagabond demented Virgin John. 

Ski Bobbitt made virgin John come, and Virgin Joe can’t wait to go down on Ski. If Virgin J was a ski slope he’d be a double black diamond. And Virgin John let the pack know that Ski’s is only 2.5 centimeters when it’s not inflated.

Naming:

Just Brian was overdue for a name. He had been holding back on any good stories to provide fodder for a hash name, but that didn’t stop the pack.  There was some rumbling about his circumcision gone wrong.  Names that were proposed included:  Back off My foreskin, Baby Fighting Cock, Steel Clap Trap, Failed Cock, Left Dick Fighter.  The name that was chosen by popular acclaim:  Foreskin Abortion (proposed by Friar F)

Accusations, etc.:

*birthdays - several, didn’t get the names (the bar was small and, again, my view was blocked)

* All kilt wearers were given a down down

* backsliders

* sweat test failure – Luva Lamp

* Same Shirts

* FRB, FBI, DFL etc.

We did hash religion. And then we had lots of pizza, and plenty of haggis to put on top.

--- Cums Alone, scribe

Upcumming Events:

St. Patrick’s Day Hash

Nor’easter/blizzard hash on Tuesday

February 21 – 25^th annual X-C ski hash in Rumney NH

April 19^th 2015 Marathon