Teenage Mutant Power Hash!

Teenage Mutant Power Hash!

Hares: Sex the Final Frontier, Dry Hose

Prelube: Washington Square Tavern

On-in: The Last Drop

Pack: Wiki, Bend Over Mommy, Po Po Peep Show, Fellowship of the Cock Ring, Easy to Please, Easy as 123, Black C*ck Down, Vaginacologist, Orgasm Famine, 5 inch penalty, Vagibond, Cum Ear, Just Jeff, Just Dave? Virgin from Switzerland? Port Hole, everyone else I forget.

Bag Car: The lovely Anal Disco

As tends to happen when the hash comes to Brookline hashers entered Washington Square Tavern, took one look around, and said “huh, am I in the right place? This looks a bit too nice for us”. That was especially true this time because roughly half of pack made some level of effort to look like 90’s super heroes. Good job everyone who put in more effort than I did. (zero) I now feel that I have fulfilled my quota of seeing men running around with underwear over running rights for the month. There was a pre-trail brunch contingent who prepared for trail with Boody Mary’s and beermosas while the hares went out to “scout”. Eventually the rest of pack joined us, the hares left for real, and we milled about blocking the door to the bar until Bend Over Mommy and Disco encouraged us to find bag car.

We deposited our bags in disco wagon. Gotta love a car that can be topless. Chalk talk took place in front of Athens Bakery to the disgruntled confusion of my fellow Brookline residents. We introduced ourselves and told each other our favorite 90’s cartoon and who we would bang from it. Marks we might see on trail were drawn out in chalk even though roughly half of trail was marked in flour. Then in an uncommon burst of energy, fueled by the fact that we could actually see the sun for the first time in weeks, we ran off. Trail immediately led across 4 lanes of traffic and 2 train tracks. Good thing Butler was not with us. There was an odd mark that was maybe supposed to be an arrow that had us a bit confused and worried about what was in store for us. (these worries were valid) As we milled around the intersection Sailor Moon appeared! At least think that is who Easy to Please was dressed as? It was a great costume. That leg of trail can be characterized by the old hashing mantra: When in doubt go uphill. We followed trail up the back / side of summit hill, found a hatorade shot check on a snowy path, asked various Brookline residents who were out shoveling if they had seen 2 young men dressed like superhero’s running by, got very lost when 4 marks led down about 40 stairs with no YBF in sight, and eventually found our way up to the first beer check in Summit Ave Park. We admired the view, enjoyed the beer, which included Magic Hat and trader joe’s brand canned offerings, ate the orange food, and played on the playground. Port Hole blew us plenty of bubbles with her superhero bubble gun and then the first snowball fight of the day broke out. Eventually, I ran off fleeing further snow missals in search of marks.

The second part of trail was marked almost entirely in rust colored chalk so it’s a good thing we told the visitors and virgin to just follow the rest of us drunken wankers. We ran down Summit Ave towards Comm Ave, apparently I missed a dick check laid in the street as I tried to navigate a sidewalk. That was about the last time I chose the sidewalk over the street for the day. We ran through a parking lot and down Comm Ave to the intersection by Harry’s where we crossed 6 lanes of traffic and 2 train tracks. As we ran the next stretch of trail we found an SC and dutifully searched for shots before realizing the hares mixed up shot check and Song check so we sang about our girl the vegetable and ran off to get briefly lost around Brighton high school before we found a path up to a park and hares sitting with beer! BC #2 was really just one giant snowball fight where I tried in vain to peacefully build a mini snowman and balance it on my cranium but got pelted with snow instead. Thank you Blackie. Eventually I downed my beer and fled the scene of the snowball fight to search for trail once more.

The third leg of trail was punctuated by frequent hatorade checks, (yes for real this time) but they didn’t really taste like there was actual booze in them. Pack felt very well hydrated as we navigated the neighborhood streets of Brighton and ran past a house where 5 inch proclaimed he had lost his virginity. There was a park where we followed a narrow track of packed down snow and attempts to deviate from said path led to falling down (Bouy’s) I think there was a song check and a tit check in there somewhere. There must have been a dick check as well because I do remember seeing a dick. Somewhere in there I figured out we were likely ending at the Last Drop in Oak Square so I began disregarding marks and running straight down Washington Street to the bar. I was right! When I got there Disco handed me her keys (bold move), I gathered pack on their way in, found her car, climbed over/through a snow bank to get to it, and we were rewarded for bringing in our possessions with pitchers of beer!

Warning: I may have been a bit drunk for circle. Someone evil bought me a fireball shot and I decided to beer bitch so I kept drinking the beer as I passed out it out to everyone else. Don't trust my account. (if you ever do)

We sang in our hares, yelled at them for all the shit they did on trail, they drank away their sins, and we began accusing people of things including: wearing costumes, not wearing costumes, FRB, FBI, DFL, backsliders, there must have been more but I forget. The virgin was called into circle and Bend Over Mommy acted as dementress. Someone asked what kind of ski slope he was but he didn’t seem to understand so pack declared him back woods. I am not sure how he felt about all you can eat for under a dollar. 5 inch asked him if he would press his sisters button to get her to stop flirting with her brother. He definitely would. His sponsor, Just Dave?, demonstrated a down-down, which he remembered how to do even though the only hashes he attended were last summer. The Virgin performed his own down-down and pack grudgingly accepted him. There might have been more that happened in circle. I don’t remember any of it so it must not have been that important. We swang low. I messed up all the hand motions. We ate pizza!

On-Sunshine and slush puddles-On

-Orgasm Famine

Announcements shamelessly stolen from the moon trash:

2/27-3/1: Burlington Mardi Gras – More cold, less snow. Probably some glitter.

3/1: BH3 Trail

3/7: Ivy League inter-hash in Boston, details to cum

3/15: Last day to sign up for marathon to be garunteed an amazing give-away

4/14-4/20: BH3 Marathon Week.

4/18: BH3 Marathon Main event – sign up bostonhash.com … There are still scholarships available!

5/15-17: NURD NURD NURD NURD NURD. You know it, you love it. Sign up for that shit.