Picard Day Trail-6/15/16
Hares: Wiki and BlondieCone
Bag Car: Foreskin Abortion
Pack: Fellowship, Popo, Famine, Glutenless, Buttler, 5 Inch, Bottom Wrangler, Friar, Marbles, Dribbles, Luvalamp, Dry Hoes, Blackey, Blow Bot, Twat, Douche, Altered Boy, Just Konrad, Chuderelli, Just Jenny, Slutty Charmes, Just Megan, Vaginacologist, Anal Apologist, Just Matt, +2, Wonka, Kirkland, Bonor Donor, 2nd, Sweagle, Virgin Brett, Queen Ebola the 3rd, Senor, Jello, Virgin Joe, Just Erik
I felt that trail started on my way to trail as I walked over a giant pink penis drawn in chalk on the sidewalk right in front of the Harvard T stop. Apparently that penis had nothing to do this us, which I find surprising… but I guess other people like dicks too. Pack gathered at Shays Wine Bar for a beer (or a wine), and received their Star Trek pins. Or are those Enterprise specific? As you can tell, if you were expecting a hash trash rife with star trek references you are in for a disappointment as alas to my parents dismay I am not a treky. I arrived, mingled, and since it was 6:45 when I showed up and the hares were gone already I expected to be imminently away. However, for some reason unbeknown to me we stuck around past 7 likely leaving the hares wondering where the f*ck we were. Chalk talk, as with most chalk talks, thoroughly confused the virgins and visitor. We introduced ourselves and said what we would do if we were in the nerdy star trek deck thing with all the screens. At least I think that is what people were talking about.
As soon as we ran off I got promptly lost because I ran to the Harvard T stop thinking that dick I had seen earlier was a hash mark. It wasn’t. So I ran back to Shays and started over by trying to follow pack marks. This was such a futile mission that as I ran past Friar (no walking trail so he was soldering through) I told him I would do what I could to mark as much as possible. Littering marks behind me I saw vestiges of pack crossing the pedestrian bridge near Harvard and saw a weird 3 pronged Turkey Eagle mark leading up over the bridge. The ‘you are a clearly an idiot’ branch pointed towards the JFK bridge so I ignored that one and followed the other two branches over the pedestrian bridge. At the apex of the bridge one of them directed me to jump over the edge onto a number of crew boats and likely kill someone or get hit by a stray oar. I ignored that branch and continued straight through to the Harvard Business School. Sadly being so far behind pack I skipped many a tit check and dick check, a song check, and a group hug. I don’t think the hares got the memo that we started a half hour after them because they seemed to be trying very hard to slow people down. I caught up to the stragglers of pack at a playground in the business school and was actually back with the group by the time we reached a hash sitapeed in the big HBS parking lot. As a group we decided that doing it on the small grassy hill sounded safter (despite the incline) than doing it in the middle of the parking lot entrance road. Nobody quite fell over so we continued on. Almost all of pack found a false down the street a bit and changed course to cross the street and head into lower Allston. I got really confused when I found a mark that had been turned into a check but nobody really explained why. That was when I got lost for the second time but eventually I decided to run to the lower Allston man made hill thing where we once had those sweedish fish jello shots. Alas all I found up there were pot smokers who told me I was sexy as I ran past them. Fortunately from the vantage point of the hill I could hear pack so I found the beer check!
Wonka made friends with a neighbor who requested a song so we sang Canal Street. Eventually the Hares were gay and we followed. As we were running off Slutty Charms and Just Megan ran up and requested roadie beers from bag car to sustain them. (smart harriettes) Trail led further through Allston to the bridge over the mass pike by Pizaria Regina. On our way there we found Friar who had sadly missed the beer check due to the lack of walkers trail. I lamented with him briefly over the stupidity of the hares for having no walkers trail and he said “this is fun”. I doubt the sincerity of his words but had trouble determining his intended level of sarcasm so I promised him more pack marks and ran on. There may have been 3 tit checks in a row. After crossing the bridge most of pack tried to zen which led to them missing a shot check, the rest of us found the shots and happily drank blood wine in a sketchy park next to strange people hanging out at a scooter garage. Eventually we ran after pack figuring we would have plenty of pack marks to follow. This proved to be wishful thinking since we got very confused at the big intersection of Harvard Ave and Comm Ave. (Please read the addendum on how to actually use pack marks at the end of this trash)
Eventually we found pack in the park behind the car dealership and we drank wine and beer. Again the hares left and we followed. We ran down streets that led us to a check in front of a big hill. We ran up the hill following marks until we found another check. From that check there were no marks so we milled around lost for a long time. What I learned later is against all odds this was actually Blondie’s screw up, not Wiki’s. Go figure. There may have been some technology used on trail but PoPo figured out where the hares were and I announced, screw this lets all run to Ringer Park because that is where the beer is! You don’t have to say that to hashers twice. We ran towards Ringer, found a true trail mark over Comm. Ave on our way, and showed the visitor a taste of shaggy before finding CPA and Shitonya awaiting us at the on-in.
Circle did not get busted by the cops nor did anybody get stabbed. (to my knowledge) We sang in the hares, told them trail was shitty, and Wiki sang us something lovely using his patented one note singing technique. FRB, FBI and DFL were people but I don’t remember who. (I don’t think DFL was Friar!) Shitonya (Burlington) and Queen Ebola the 3rd (Dallas, TX) sang for us. Popo de-virginized Virgins Joe and Brit. There was some accusations, some announcements, and we swang low. Immediately after that someone (probably CPA? Called for an Urban ugh but since we were out of beer only a handful of people stripped and ran after her) The rest of us followed Fellowship who promised us more hash beer at the Sill!
ON-ON
-Orgasm Famine
Pack Marks: Different Kennels use different pack mark methods but please adhere to the Boston method in Boston. Pick a mark that represents you and includes a directional clue. Then when you leave a check mark indicate the direction you ran. If you end up going the wrong way return to the check, cross out your mark, and re-mark your new direction. If you don’t check a direction but have chalk and hear an on-on called as you are hanging out by the check mark, indicate your direction from the check in case people are behind you. Please do not mark checks in any other way. It causes confusion since nobody knows what you are doing.
Announcements:
NEXT WEDNESDAY- Goat is looking for a virgin hare to co-hare.
7/8 – INVISHASH Campout weekend in Burlington. Rego is still open.
http://burlingtonhash.com/wordpress/invihash/information/
8/12 - Hash BBQ
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