What: GTFO Alston Trail
Where: The Sihl
Who:
Hares: Blondie McBlowcones Alot, Marblelous Asshole
Bag car: Spermaid.
Just Kent, Just Ian, Stinky Cheese, Shits and Ladders, Captain Connecticunt, Jiggly Tits, Goat Throat, Sketchy, the other harriet who runs anti-buffet, butler, no man, o’boner, boner doner, black cock down, wikipedophilia, vagatarian, cum ear, vistor from dc, clap for clamidia, luva lamp, easy rider, clit and chips, clit notes, a virgin and others i forgot.
Start:
Was at the sihl, and i got another free beer. I need to bring a trail there to pay the friendly lady back. Pack slowly started to arrived and we were given “dinner” (ie free popcorn) to all the tables. I might have surprised a muggle who caught me changing in the mens room, but you’re never indecent when putting on a kilt, so I didn’t care. The hares showed up latish - finally realizing that if you live on the k007 51d3 of the river it kinda sucks going south. After some confusion with bag car - if only we knew what that would foreshadow - hares were gay and we finished our beers and went after them.
Chalk-talk:
Was held by the oil-change place until they yelled at us for not being there, or whatever, so we went across the street. The Captain led us in chalk talk and we mentioned all the places in the world we’d rather be than Alston. We then ran back across the street up and hill towards that park we end at alot.
Trail In Alston:
Trail started up the street by the Sihl and we quickly hit a hash sitapeed. Most of pack continued straight, but I scouted a two and out down an alley and eventually caught up with trail coming out of the park. Sadly for Goat and I, there was a shot check that we missed. Aggressive placement by the hares, but no one complains about getting drunk early, except for those who zen around it. Losers. Trail crossed back over brighton street and ran past the shaws to the road over the pike. There was a S/S check at the base of the bridge, but the two trails combined on the bridge. An arrow turned us at the base of the bridge, but it led to a CB4 and trail went through a parking lot, past a tit check (thanks Easy!) and then turned left then right back onto the road from the bridge. Trail continued through LA for a way and it was really a question of “which LA beer stop would they chose.” Eventually marks led us to the gardens by the ampitheatre by where water wars ended and we found the hares.
Trail Still In Alston:
We stood around with the hares waiting for bag car. Bag car got lost. Like wicked lost; seriously evilly lost. When we got there hares said that they had overshot and ended up on the other side of the river by Mount Auburn. Then they said that they were coming back. Then they said that they had missed the turn again and were south-bound on soldiers field, so we’d just meet them on the other side of the bridge by the VFW/Rowing boathouse.
Trail GTFO Alston:
The hares marked trail - pretty much straight true, but I think there was a song check - threw the park and across the bridge.
Still Waiting:
We then hung out by the boat house waiting for bag who was on the cambridge side of western ave. They then crossed back over the river at the JFK bridge and got on Soldiers field road outbound, eventually crossing back over and being waved into the parking lot by 3 dozen tried, sober, thirsty hashers.
Beer check 1:
Was amazing.
Trail to BC #2:
Was the best laid segment of any trail all year!
Beer check 2:
Was even more amazing!
The hares left roughly around the time BC#2 was marked and we finished our second beers before running after them.
Note on haring change:
Bag car having been relieved of her duties (and given a beer), was replaced by Blonde who drove off as Marbles went to lay trail.
Trail Not in Alston:
Cross memorial drive; though not at a street light and luckily no one was killed. We ran to a song check and sang the beginning of the engineer song, then went and looked for trial found a check back the f*cked pack right up. We had no idea where trail went until eventually Falmon and I found it going up a random street and we called on. We hit a group hug, and a dick/tit check before crossing into the, i think it’s called, “Huron Village” area before getting a check at Paddy’s. Paddy’s was a false; true trail went straight to Doherty park. When we arrived there was pizza, beer, orange food and we knew we were ONIN.
Circle:
The hares were called in and we told them they should’ve used more flour and chalk, or given bag car a map! Next bag car was called in and we told her use a map! The visitor from DC was called in and we sang to her a nice friendly song. It was great. Then Clap for Chlamydia was called for abandoning us to DC and we sang him a song about all the farms in our nation's capital. It was one of the more aggressive Old McDonalds I’d seen. There was, at that point, one person in the circle who was very, very confused so the virgin was called in. Clit notes stepped forward to dement him and we learned that he sucks at math, doesn’t know what a dollar menu is, and is backwoods; then something a fucking his girlfriend’s mother? Whatever. Captian showed him how to do a down-down, and he drank. We then moved onto accusations. We accused the bag car of getting lost again, because, well, she deserved it. Then everyone who was given a patch for completing the “marathon challenge” [if you have, let me know and i’ll give you one]. I was then accused of not messing up a song? Whatever, I drank, and didn’t sing Nancy Brown, even though I just remembered now that our visitor was from WV and i should have! Curses! Anyone who ran a marathon was called in, and anyone who travelled out of state. There was a lot of beer so we accused people who were not wearing hash attire to drink, then we accused same shirts to drink. Eventually we all were drunk and we swang low. I know I’m skipping at least 2 accusations, but if you remember accuse me next week of forgetting your accusations! Announcements below.
On - GTFO Alston - On
-Wikipedophilia
Announcements:
Wednesday 9/14: Return to Quincy trail! That’s right kids, we’re going to the other end of the redline! Details soon. Hares are Clit Notes and Wiki.
Friday 9/16: Boston Full Moon H3, Start is Harpoon Brewery, hares are Wifeout and Dryhose
Saturday 9/17: Seacoast Redress Pub Crawl in Dover NH - train leaves north station at 9. Contact wiki if you want to go, he (i) will put you in contact with the SH3 people.
Saturday 9/17: Boston Ball Buster Hardcore Hash in Northboro - details will be announced shortly. Contact Too Short Too Tuck for info.
October 15th: Boston H3 AGM - Start is Coopersmith. Theme is Top Gun.
November 11/12: Philly White dress.
December 9-11: Antibuffet; rego info at some point.
January: Robbie Burns
Feburary: Moon away
March: Burlington Mardi Gras and Philly Green Dress
April: MARATHON 2017
May: NURD
June: Something?
July: Burlington INVIHASH
August: Stop planning a year in advance and drink a beer!
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