Monday, November 26, 2018

Basic Trail

What: The Basic Trail
Who: WIkipediaphilia, Udder Whore, and Virgin (Just?) JJ.
Bag car: No Man
Pack: Sex: The Final Frontier. Orgasm Falmon, Sketchy Ho, 5 Inch Penalty, Dribbles, Sketchy Ho, Pop Cum Ear I'm Infected, The Buttler Hit It, Goat Throat (Kind of but not), Yellow Dick Gnome, Shits 'N Ladders, Shart of Darkness, Po Po Peepshow, Whore's Box, Testicular Mechanics, Oboener, Luva Lamp, Sketchy Ho.
Leg #1: Noticing that we had no unnamed hashers on trail, Gnome elected to forego chalk talk and we simply looked for trail. After spiralling around Harvard Square, we did stumble our way to Song Check directly in front of a Harvard security guard. I waited around for pack and the guard asked me if *we* had put the sign of an S with a circle on it in this colored flour as a means to show that something started there.
"Um... no. We definitely did not ....[under breath] start here."
Gnome lead in a rousing verse of "Them them f*ck them", as appropriate.
A few of us went into a lot behind an apartment complex for a Sitapeed before veto-ing and figuring most of pack had skipped it, knowing the lot's only exit and hashing smarter not harder. We found Wiki and his four-legged far more intelligent and less likely to fuck up a song co-hare holding a delicious pumpkin spiced basic latte for us, before begging for more time because apparently his Clydesdale of a dog isn't very fast.
We c*m upon BC1 in Sacramento Field.
Leg #2: We leaped away and through a playground and followed trail to Corcoran Field for BC2. There was a lovely display in which Wiki pranced through the field with Virgin Cohare. Wiki warned us: (1) trail would be approx. 6.9 more miles and (2) there was a shot check to be had, so as to deter us from zenning to Paddy's Lunch.
As pack craniumed out, some, figuring the hare for a liar, ignore the SC prognostication and zenned straight. The sturdy and valiant true among us ran trail only to be punished for our efforts with a CBX, with legibility falling into such question as to make this an underdetermined algebraic system. After much thoughtful discussion, pack decided it was definitely either CB2, CB3, CB5, or CBb and trying all such variations until trail was solved. (Hare later revealed CB6 was intended.) We located the aforepromised shot that Sav-Mor liquors would call "pumpkin shit" before proceeding to Paddy's.
Circle: Hares were called in for being shitty hares. The virgin hare received much passive aggressive abuse from the hash in choice of song lyrics. Backsliders, overachievers, and hares were called in, and hares were called in again. We swung low and had pizza that we all agreed was as good as the trail was bad.

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