Wednesday, December 12, 2018

Light Side/Dark Side Hash

What: Light Side/Dark Side Hash
Hares: Sex: The Final Frontier and Tinder Dick (virgin lay)
Bag car: Clits n Chips n Clits n Chips
Pack: Shits n Ladders, Fellowship of the Cock Ring, Knuckles Deep, Falmon, Po-po Peepshow, Quarter Mile Queer, Bottom Wrangler, Just Mihaela, Waxxx Off

Pack arrived at the start epitomizing the theme of the trail. I was feeling tired from my l*ng r*n earlier that morning, and most everyone else was feeling hung over from Hong Kongukah and other assorted festivities. We were a sad and bedraggled crew.

Leg 1: The light side, I guess

Perhaps sensing our distress, the hares laid a very short first leg of trail, though we still managed to fuck it up (by doubting Famine's zenning skills). We went down some side streets, across a literal sheet of ice, and up a hill, finding ourselves at the first beer check at the top of Summit Hill (an important ceremonial location for the r*cist group that calls itself "November Project," I am told).

Leg 2: It's dark from here on out

After that first beer check, it was No More Mr. Nice Hares. Trail went down one side of Summit to CB22, with a couple shot checks laid along the way - we amassed some haterade and some jello slices. We somehow managed to miscount and get ourselves confused again, but eventually figured out that trail went down the other side of Summit, where we found another two or three shot checks, each with a couple bottles of shots plus some nips. I am not exaggerating when I say we had more full-size shots than the number of people on pack. We did not drink them all, instead agreeing to save some for the hares when and if we ever got to the end.

We crossed Comm Ave (right past the apartment where I lived when I started hashing! awwww, memories), straggled on over further into Allston (holding our breath for news of an on-in at the Sil - but alas, it was not to be), and got to beer check #2, which was at some little playground in Allston.

Leg 3: The very dark (and cold) side

It was getting dark and very cold. Memorable moments of this leg of trail included:
- getting in a verbal altercation with some dude in a car (he was totally the asshole, btw)
- running through Harvard Stadium, another location with religious significance to the peoples of the November Project group
- whining a lot about the cold

...was somewhere just outside Harvard Stadium, where Harvard security drove by us about a million times but apparently decided anyone stupid enough to be out in the dark and the cold was probably too stupid to do any harm to the property.

We had been warned that circle would be outdoors but, in true hashmanlike fashion, were still inadequately prepared. We did some lackluster accusations -- including making the hares drink some of their shots, of which we still had like six. However, we quickly gave up and disbanded circle before the pizza arrived in a poorly conceived effort to find an indoor place with beer. Naturally, we apparently hadn't checked where bag car was before doing so, and she pulled up with pizza just as we left. We stuffed our faces with some pizza, ducked into a Starbucks to warm up, and then the stupidest among us headed toward the Hong Kong for the final night of """"gentle rage.""""

12/13 (maybe) - PT2H3, hared by Disco
12/14-16 - Antibuffett/Anthrax!
12/16 - Leftovers hash


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