Wednesday, August 7, 2019

Return of Mastor Gator*

The Return of Mastor Gator!
Hare: Master Gator*
Bag Car: Marblelous Asshole

Pack: Dribbles, Fireball, Wikipedophila, Shart of Darkness, Sketcy Ho, Popo Peepshow, Spunk in the Trunk, Blonde, Fellowship of the cockring, Qater Mile Queer, Chunderlli Chunderelle, Knuckle, O’boner, Mechanics, Shits, Noman, The Buttler hit it, Barbie, Twat my mom, Goes down on Buoys, Jiggly Tits, For the love of god, Disco, Easy as 123, others I’m forgetting


Pack arrived on time at Harry’s and had a few drinks and snacks. Chicken wangs were a popular choice. Master Gator was welcomed back after a long hash absence. The hare left on time and everyone saw him make the first check outside of the bar. Eventually 6.9 was called and we left to find bag car and chalk talk.

Chalk Talk:
No Justs! No Virgins! Shart was missing on a “work call” and Disco went in bag car.

Leg 1( dammit hills):

Trail went up ALL the hills. And stairs. At some point, QMQ had to “take a shit” and left pack. People remarked "yeah that sounds right". Wiki went off to zen and Chunderelli was missing. Buoys refunded into a bush. There was a rum shot check that no one really wanted. Vanilla flavoured nonsense, we hates it. Knuckles gracefully fell. Eventually, pack made it to the...

Wine Check (baggo!):

Before Shart caught up to pack at the wine check, Easy informed us that she wasn't Shart's keeper and therefore didn't know where the fuck Shart was. Blondie said we were missing a handful of pack including Wiki and QMQ, though Fireball swore she saw Wiki’s Marks on trail.We finished a pretty good amount of the bag of wine (a rare white), our enthusiasm stoked by various hashers showing off their 'And1 Baggo' moves that they'd perfected on the summer tour. We did not finish it all and Fellowship of the Winebag bore the weight of the bagho out of the wine check.

WC to BC(oh look people) At this point Fireball was getting increasingly worried about the length of QMQ’s shit. Tech on trail reassured that QMQ had “found pack” and was no longer glued to a toilet. During this leg pack was in awe of Gator’s newfound love of mileage.

BC (beer and snacks)
In a shocking turn of events for the Boston Hash, we drank beer in a park.

BC to End (beep beep!):
A car nearly ran Wiki over. We gave the motorist a citizen issued citation for rolling through the stop sign. He is due to appear in kangaroo court next week. Jiggly asked a muggle for his phone to show him the hash website. He seem enthralled with our antics and took a swig of hatorade before heading off to a tea party.

Circle (shit escalates):

Circle started with the location of beer and pizza being argued over. Some thought that we should circle right where were on the hill (a pretty level spot), while others thought we should proceed a few hundred metres more to another spot. We compromised by taking 5 steps up the hill and doing circle there. Pack started getting incresingly worried that Gator was no where to be found. There were theories floating around that he was stationed up the hill, and FTLoGF went and shouted for him to no avail, before returning quickly due to fear of wolves. And The Hares started, and 5 different people jumped in. To what seemed to be everyone's complete surprise, we were all learnt at this pointt that the trail had been hared not by Gator, but instead by Wiki. And Shart. And Qmq. And Disco. And Chundrelli. Gator had gone home after prelube. Actual hares had engaged in some extreme trickery/COLLUSION to lay trail, unbeknownst to the rest of pack. Please see the Strava flyby for more details on this. Hares were called in for they fuckery. With no virgins to dement, and limited visitors to entertain ourselves with, we moved on. FTLoGF was still confused where Gator was. Accusations were hurled around, true and semi-true alike. We would eventually swing low, and then leave leave.

Scribed by Master Gator*
Anonymous Grizzly, Anonymous Chinchilla, Anonymous Kraken, Anonymous Dinosaur

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