Twelfth Night Hash (Take 2)

Hares: Anal Beads, Beat by a Girl, Backdoor Factory (Bag Car), Placentos the Fresh Maker (secret hare) 
Start: The Sidebar (Downtown Crossing area)
Beer Check 1: Beat by a Girl's fabulous roof-deck overlooking the State House.
Beer Check 2: Across the lagoon from the Galleria Mall in Cambridge.
Circle: A circular paved area near where Memorial Drive meets the Longfellow Bridge.
On-In: The Muddy Charles (already crowded due to a game)

Present: I know I'm missing some but here goes. I also can't read my shorthand. The second cumming (initial RA), Fire in the hole, STD, Nice Tits, Gay Pride, Catheter the Great, Sketchy HO, just Amy, Just Angi => My Clitoral Law, just jenn, Coochie Monster, Just Sara, Dirty Latte Sanchez, Placentos the Fresh Maker, Spoonful of Semin, Muddy Buddy, Reclu, High Anus, Homobile, An Inconvenient Poop, 5 inch Penalty, My Chemical Homance, Floppy, Skibobbit, Dribbles, Jamaican me cum, Just Bridget, Brigham Tongue, Stick it to the Bros, Friar, Virgin Michelle, Virgin Ryan, Cum is Kosher, Crucifux, Bend Over Mommy, Sugar Plum Fairy. Peppermint Pussy, Boston Strangler, Dude where's my Virginity, Friar.

The pack gathered in the sidebar, first congregating around the table where Tits was trying to eat and then gradually taking over the bar. It was supposed to be pack away at 7, but I think we actually left a little later. We gathered at a brick plaza outside of Tj Maxx. There was a little horseplay and then the Second Cumming explained the marks. Nothing unusual, lots of tit checks and even a turkey/eagle split, but we were all encouraged to do the eagle. We were soon off!

Trail wound through the Downtown Crossing area, past the Old City Hall (now a steak house) where we were supposed to clamber down a wall. Coming up on Quincy Market was the turkey/eagle split. Even Skibobbit took the eagle!

The Eagle trail wound through Quincy Market, along what used to be the elevated expressway, and past a real live Carousel. I don't think any hashers got to ride it. There were several fountain crossings – the one near the carousel had water which spurted out randomly – almost daring hashers to run across it. I ended up falling behind as we wound back through the Financial District and Post Office Square (another fountain). I was now with the strays, and gradually we found more strays coming from different directions. Trail went through the commons and straight through an upcoming Shakespear performance. They were asking everyone in the audience to contribute $10 - but we ran right by.

After many years, hashers develop homing instincts. Given that one of the hares was Beat by a Girl, there was only one logical place for the beer check. Still, there might be another beer check so it's worth following trail - and we were certainly going in the wrong direction. Finally it was up up up hill past the State House and sure enough people were yelling encouragement from BBAG's rooftop deck. Everyone had to sign in. I signed in at 8:10pm. The beer check was just ending, but there was time to have a beer and take some twilight pictures from the roof deck. It was also last call for the bathroom. First things first.

A group of us piled into the elevator. Another group piled into the other elevator and pushed all the buttons, so going down took a while. At this point I caught up (or caught down) with Ski Bobbit. Trail went through Beacon Hill. Homing instincts again - there was only one place for the on-in, and we simply had to pick the most direct route there. Ski actually called someone (maybe the hotline) and said "yup - it's the BHP". Actually he called Dude, who said that the on-in WASN'T at the BHP. When we got the the BHP, there were no marks, but they did have bathrooms. Bros and some other hashers ran by. They had followed trail. I thought WE had followed trail. Anyway - call the hotline. We were going to the Cambridge Galleria, and basically bee-lined it there. This was a beer check on the other side of the lagoon. Some hashers contemplated walking across the channel, but I expect it was pretty deep. There was a motorboat, but it was tied up.

The beer check went on for a while, and eventually security came out. We left - going through the mall and along the river. Again – homing instincts. I expected trail would go over the bridge and back to the BHP, and was very surprised when we stopped at a sort of circular patio. Circle Up!!!

Crucifux was RA. "And the Hares".. We were asked to practice "Safe Public Drinking". There were two cop cars on Memorial Drive. Comments included "No Marks", "Clearly a Gap Trail" and Placentos the Fresh Maker was "outed" for being the mystery hare. The pack sang several verses of "Old McDonald", ending with the inevitable "whale" verse where the hares get soaked in second hand beer. Backdoor factory ran away and was chased with a full beer.

The hares were given the Option (sing a song or show your tits). Backdoor Factory showed her tits, but even that wasn't enough.

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? ?Thou art more lovely and more temperate:? Rough winds do shake the heaving bosoms of May,? And summer's lease hath all too short a date:? Sometime too hot the brown eye of heaven shines,? And often is the gold [domed] complexion dimm'd;? And every head [who said..?] from beer sometime declines,? By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd;? But thy eternal summer shall not fade?. Nor lose possession of that beer thou owest;? Nor shall Shiggy brag thou wander'st in his shade,?When in eternal lines to time thou growest:? So long as beers are cold and marks are free.? So long as hasher friends gives life to thee.

Beat by a Girl and Anal Beads took turns reading this doggerel (evidently for the first time) while the hashers acted the part of "groundlings" and chimed in at every opportunity (the "head ...") part took longer than the rest of the poem.

Next order of the day: VIRGINS.

Virgin Michelle was brought by Anal Beads. She would not stay on a bus full of lesbians, but says Oooh Yesss when having an orgasm.

Virgin Ryan was brought by Just Jenn. His first blowjob tasted awesome and his favorite barnyard animal is a cow.

Next order of business: ACCUSATIONS

Backsliding: Coochie Monster was playing baseball. I Eat Tea Bags, Boston Strangler

Pouring beer out: Sketchy HO and Dirty Latte Sanchez.

Technology on Trail: Nice Tits but she was updating the hotline so Jamaican had to drink for a false accusation.

Song Check Skipping: Dirty Latte Sanchez, Peppermint Pussy

Pissing during circle: Boston Strangler.

Same Shirts: Placentos the Fresh maker, Bros, I eat Tea Bags, Spankme. This ended up as an ever expanding circle with All hares, All Gms and a lot of other people.

Leaving Boston: Crucifux, STD, Just Angi.

Naming: Before Just Angi leaves, we needed to name her. She goes to law school and was sent home in a cab at 7 pm. Mom walked in on her while having sex. Out of these great stories came "Mothers Love Bone", "Cummus Interruptus", "Mon San", "Keep it in the Family", "Cheap Date", and "Clitoral Law". The latter was Angi's least favorite, but her vote doesn't count and it was the overwhelming favorite of the pack. Votes weren't even counted and from until renamed Just Angi will be known as Clitoral Law.

Very Late Cummer: Wang Chunks. He was called into circle, along with an ever expanding group of hashers who had something in common with the previous set of hashers. I won't even attempt to explain the logic of this, because there wasn't any.

Announcement: We need HARES!!!

The on-in was at the Muddy Charles. There was a baseball game on, and the hash gathered in front of the overhead screen trying not to make too much noise (if that is possible). It was 10:10 and people were hungry. There was some beer, but because at least 8 people didn't pay hash-cash, there wasn't much. There was a lot of pizza, so I expect people had bailed before the Muddy. Speaking of pizza - I'm always amazed at how many people do not eat crusts. I like crusts. There were also whole pizza slices folded up and discarded with just a bite out of them. This is simply wasteful. I realize as I'm grazing on pizza crusts that I'd run out of words. My scribing duties ended at circle, and it was unlikely anything else would happen. I drank a Coke, went down to the basement to pee one last time, and hung out for a little with the herbal appreciation club. Time to begin the long journey home many miles beyond the last T station.

Well - that's about it. I'm sitting at a picnic table by Spot Pond (in the Fells) writing this. The sun is shining, not a cloud in the sky, and a gentle breeze is blowing. I should probably get moving – picnic tables aren't very comfortable to sit at for prolonged periods of time.